Today, after about a month with no sex, my girlfriend told me to come up to her room and began kissing me passionately. She got me down to my underwear before informing me that she had Spanish homework left. To make things better, upon finishing up, she went straight to sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my girlfriend's place to have a study session. Her dad was on a business trip but her mom was at home. We studied for about two hours, then we started getting frisky and started undressing and soon started fucking. We were about 20 minutes in when her mom came in and chased me out. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, my girlfriend's grandparents walked in on us getting intimate. She immediately ran to the bathroom, leaving me alone with them. They only speak Spanish, which is not my first language. We discussed the movie she and I were "watching", all while I was naked under the sheets. FML
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
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Top comments
BadPinkKitty07 0
Spain cockblocked you. hehe.
jamesSIII 0
You should have jizzed on her homework. Oh wait...
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Comments (159)
dubstep87 0
you should donkey her ass
Monikabug 9
I have never heard a girl tell someone that they should donkey punch their girlfriend. Lol
MightyMike2509 0
#40 is a HERO! hahaha.
huh484 4
you are awesome for that 60
huh484 4
40
420smoke420 3
just go elsewhere for getting laid she'll understand
perdix 31
¿Donde esta la casa de las putas?
CRUZs_GURL1 0
en la esquina jaja debe no llorar y mejor jalarsela y se acabo o cojerse una prosti jaja piche joto porno aser lo jaja
FYLDeep 26
I think you're looking for the ***** house, but I don't speak Spanish. Anyway, hopefully the mods don't get you.
CRUZs_GURL1 0
yup yup thats what hes looking for
perdix 31
Wow! I wish I knew more Spanish so I could understand what Cruzs_Gurl said. That's the trouble with a little bit of knowledge.
perdix 31
Alcestis, these things are known by men who haven't been put on the straight and narrow path by a good woman. Once a man finds such a woman, these thoughts are pushed out of his brain by thoughts of how to please this woman! ¿Comprende?
CRUZs_GURL1 0
lol that's not what I said lol i said: it's in the corner haha he shouldn't cry instead he should wack off or **** a prosti he's a fag for not doing so
CRUZs_GURL1 0
well it's more like ******* fag for not doing so lol
Dynoblaze 1
Rape her.
deevosee 0
op, she's cheating
TheFun1 0
aww that sucks:/ uhh maybe u should talk to her and ask for sex? oh but be careful, she might dump you:)
Rumisan 0
Maybe you should of pulled her back from doing her Spanish homework. Women like to be dominated in a sexy way, other than that I feel sorry for her who has to be with a man who can't control his gf.
elvgar 0
a whipped man doesnt control his gf?
hitmanoo 16
Be a man you pussy. You got deservedly blue-balled. Be a man and take control. Otherwise you deserve to be jerking off!
redneck_94 0
my best bet would be germany.
redneck_94 0
that's sarcasm btw. but yeah OP needsto take the blue ball hint. time to move on.