Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. I had my headphones in and was blasting my music. It was also cold so I had my hood up. I had my back turned to the house and wasn't paying attention. My brother thought I was a burglar and tackled me to the concrete. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my father over top of me saying, "Nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burglar and he knocked me out. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML
Today, I was having a smoke out on the balcony of my apartment. When I was walking back into the house, I walked straight into the large glass sliding door, loudly whacking it with my forehead, subsequently waking up my 2 other flatmates at 2.30am. FML
Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. When I started to head back in, I saw a shadow move across my bedroom window. I live alone, so I waited outside and called the police. They came and investigated, only to drag my naked boyfriend out, where he promptly dumped me. I forgot our 2-year anniversary. FML
Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML
Today, I was walking home from school and my stupid brother who comes earlier then me locked the storm door. I ended up trying every other door for 3 hours in below freezing temperature. I was numb everywhere. I rang the bell and my brother opened it. He was home the whole time. FML
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Top comments
lmaoatall 6
future note for posting fml's, never ever say you went outside to have a smoke. NEVER. even if you were hit by a bus..
catalin 0
How come smokers always get the most YDI's ? : It's completely out of my reach. It's like it was her fault her brother tackled her like that.
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Comments (268)
docscientist 10
What if he didn't smoke, therefore he stayed inside and the house caught fire, killing him? Would he deserve it for not smoking? Maybe he would then deserve it for living in a house.
Mistery510 6
your fault!!
ImaWiseGuy 5
I would say it's her brothers fault for being a complete dumb ass for not knowing who his own sister is.........
josh5211 0
that's why you don't smoke... haha
PassTheDutch 0
^agreed. how the he'll could he not tell. and why would a burglar be standing outside smoking a cigarette not facing the house. he's a dumbass.
PassTheDutch 0
iPhone corrected hell and put he'll.
LoveLife293 2
thats what u get for smoking
ohSNAPyall 27
64 you forgot to add that the prowler was facing away from the house. Must have been trying to pick the lock with the non-cigarette hand.
sleepybeef 0
haha u fell for his excuse
IndridWarm 23
What kind of burglar sits outside a house with their back to it?