Today, I got a message from an old friend’s wife. She said they were having a reunion at their place and invited me to come. She spent the whole night trying to get me to hook up with him! She wanted out of the marriage and thought that if she could get him to cheat, she’d get a divorce. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got a text from an old hook up. I assumed it was a mistake, since we hadn’t spoken in years. She replied that her fiancé just dumped her after finding our old chat log. The last message was 10 years ago, and apparently she has become a prude since then, so now I’m a homewrecker. FML
Today, my wife’s ex-boyfriend sent me a message with a screenshot of her trying to get in touch with him. FML
Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML
Today, I was visited by a high school friend who lives in another state. She was furious because I got married a few months ago, and she kinda had feelings for me. I had to ask her to leave. Here's the funny thing: she's been married for 4 years and they have a son, and she didn't even invite me to her wedding back then. FML
Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML
Today, this hot girl sent me a friend request. I accepted it and began to chat her up. She asked me if I was single. I told her I was, and proceeded to arrange a date for some drinks. Moments later, my wife sends me a screenshot of my conversation with the girl, with the caption, “Pack your shit and get the fuck out.” FML
Today, my husband told me that I’m no longer “allowed” to see my best friend of 27 years. He’s worked up in his mind that she’s going to try to convince me to cheat on him because she’s single. She literally introduced us and was the maid of honor at our wedding. FML
Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said, "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML
Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
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Top comments
DLBL 23
It shows San Bernardino...if this is CA, CA has no-fault divorce. ?
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DLBL 23
It shows San Bernardino...if this is CA, CA has no-fault divorce. ?