Today, I misplaced my phone at small house party. I found it later, but not before being called a sick bastard by my crush. It seems one of my "friends" sent her a cock pic with my phone, and now she wants nothing to do with me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML
Today, someone took my phone away. Why? Because I was texting my ex-boyfriend who cheated on me with one of my friends. FML
Today, I left my phone at work. After returning to the office to retrieve it, I noticed it was not on my desk as it usually is. I went to the front office and found it on the desk, unattended. When turning on my phone, I was greeted by my new lockscreen: a crap someone took in the bathroom. FML
Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I got jumped by five dudes who took my phone. On it I had naked pictures of myself. An hour later they sent the pictures to all of my contacts. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friend's house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said, "Who is this? Stop texting me." FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
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Top comments
asapp78 16
What a dick move by your friend... ba dum tiss!
iAlissa 34
Perhaps keep better track of your personal belongings. And maybe find better "friends."
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Comments (96)
iiTzNeeNerz 26
That's a literal **** block.
annie_nk 23
Have you told her it wasn't you? And if she's having a hard time believing someone who's telling the truth, that's her problem.
G_bear24 9
Time for new friends...
carelessxdanger 9
a pic of his dingaling or yours? if it WAS yours, why do have those pics and who the heck are you sending them to? lol
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Who he is sending them to is none of your business. As to why he may have them, have you not heard of sexting? lol
BlockOfRedStone 25
It was more than likely just a dick pic OP's friend found on Google Images,
carelessxdanger 9
well if it was his, then he put himself in this mess. ever heard of a password?..
Sathane 21
That why God invented passcodes to lock your phone. Use it.
abhi95 31
God? Really? I don't think God gives a shit about phone passcodes..!
Steve95401 49
Wouldn't she recognize your dick?
Pyro_Wolf 17
Why would she recognize it?
abhi95 31
She's just a crush! I dunno how it works wherever you are.. But in most places in the world this is the stage where you plot how to land the girl and showing her your **** definitely isn't the way.
DavidKnows 11
#62 +#55, he isn't showing EVERYONE, just his GF. Since she didn't recognize it was a different penis, she obviously hasn't seen HIS yet. If she hasn't seen it, they aren't that deep into the relationship yet. Some kind of sexual interaction generally starts fairly early (at least 1-3 months) into a relationship. So how MUCH of a GF is she really?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#67- Sexual activity in a relationship usually starts 1-3 months into the relationship? Whaaat? Isn't that a little early? Took 2 years for my boyfriend and I to make out (granted, at that point we were 15 or 16, but still). I couldn't imagine being sexual that early... (We're both 18 now so there's no issues, but we've been together for almost 5 years now).
littlekellilee 45
You should start keeping better track of your phone, especially around drunk people, and especially if it's not locked. But if she's an understanding person, she'll probably hear you out.
xnyletak 17
Never, and I mean NEVER let anyone get your phone. OP had to learn that the hard way.
Jelbeztok 17
i recommend putting a lock on your phone, finding new friends, and try to talk to your crush.
perdix 31
"Don't be afraid -- mine is much smaller!" Face it, you've got no chance with her now, maybe your self-effacing humor might turn things around.
Sports_guy3 28
TMI perdix.
ClashParody 21
Perdix, that might be the best advice I've ever seen you give on this site. I applaud you, sir.