Love, Sex and Painful: Sick burn

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 16/05/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 997

You deserved it 8 071

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 108

You deserved it 64 106

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 300

You deserved it 5 107

By Anonymous - 03/04/2011 15:14 - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 725

You deserved it 6 417

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 403

You deserved it 4 468

By Un1ucky - 08/06/2014 03:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 797

You deserved it 7 437

Fire hazard

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 17:11

Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 247

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By Anonymous - 30/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 545

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 412

You deserved it 1 406

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 537

You deserved it 14 903

By Firequeen - 21/11/2016 21:44

Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 397

You deserved it 1 026

elhefeweizen 0

Monday 31 May 2010 9:05

Hahaha he lit that ass on fire! Bravo

Zonadow 0

Monday 31 May 2010 9:09

Oh baby yes, move your tongue like--OH DEAR GOD MY ASS AAAUUGGGHHHHHH

Comments

Mrmoe 0

Monday 31 May 2010 9:11

maybe he wanted to heat things up before sex !!

awhsum 0

Monday 31 May 2010 9:20

haha :P

LilAfo 4

Monday 31 May 2010 10:17

^ teehee

Efilyn 0

Monday 31 May 2010 9:14

You were making out and declined the stove? Didn't see a reason to watch it? :/ ;-.-

masterkron 0

Monday 31 May 2010 9:17

why the **** would you not move over are you just retarded or was it one of those "heat" of the moment things

ILoveMyXbox 0

Monday 31 May 2010 9:18

WAHOHo this sex is on fire

sourgirl101 28

Monday 31 May 2010 9:20

Now he has a reason to kiss your ass.

Ms_Jessie22 8

Monday 31 May 2010 9:36

^ This made me LOL :)

NancyDeebensDPDS 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 1:58

^ this.

Caljoones 9

Thursday 16 January 2014 13:54

^^ this this.

sindy23 0

Monday 31 May 2010 9:25

omg that must hurt really bad!!!

possiblyapotato 10

Tuesday 24 March 2015 19:54

well obviously it felt great :P

crystalponds 11

Monday 31 May 2010 9:33

Oh Burn!!!

gozar_fml 1

Monday 31 May 2010 9:37

that's why they call it "makin bacon"

BroadwayBound 0

Monday 31 May 2010 9:40

How Romantic...

Itzy02 0

Monday 31 May 2010 9:41

lmao at 16. :)

Keywords

Video games Annoying Gamers Cute Kids Money Birthday Awkward Weird Love Health Relatable Abuse Scams Social Media School Education Parents Teenagers Anger issues Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I'm a graduate of a wealthy public school in So Cal. It astonishes me how many of my classmates don’t see a problem with today’s politicians, or gas, rent, and food prices. I was given shelter but had to earn everything I had growing up. I knew I wasn’t crazy though they acted like I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 103

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 280

You deserved it 49 810

The Top

Today, fourth day of vacation in paradise, I’m in Bali, Indonesia. I’m suffering from a violent turista. Between two attacks, I found by miracle a diosmectite that I drank bottom up. It was tap water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 99

Today, after closing down the gas station I work at, I went to unlock the door to the building. Turned out the lock broke and I was locked inside until my boss could get there to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 941

You deserved it 495

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 968

You deserved it 6 324

Today, on my 30th birthday, my mom, aunt, and sister staged an intervention instead of throwing a party. Apparently I’m “ruining my life” by being 300lbs and being "single for 5 years" and I need to “get my act together.” They treated me like I’m some sort of criminal and reduced me to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 798

Today, I apparently fell asleep during a work Zoom meeting. I awoke to no meeting on my screen and an e-mail from my boss saying I was terminated, and to do something about my "sleep apnea." FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 926

Today, my mom took away my medication. She's afraid I'll get "hooked". The medication is anti-anxiety pills. I have horrible anxiety attacks that sometimes cause me to scratch my arms until they bleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 177

You deserved it 4 513

Sick burn

Same thing different taste

Fire hazard

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

Top comments

Comments