Love, Sex and Painful: Sick burn

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 16/05/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 997

You deserved it 8 071

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 108

You deserved it 64 106

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 300

You deserved it 5 108

By Anonymous - 03/04/2011 15:14 - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 725

You deserved it 6 417

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 403

You deserved it 4 468

By Un1ucky - 08/06/2014 03:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 797

You deserved it 7 437

Fire hazard

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 17:11

Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 247

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By Anonymous - 30/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 545

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 412

You deserved it 1 406

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 537

You deserved it 14 903

By Firequeen - 21/11/2016 21:44

Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 397

You deserved it 1 026

elhefeweizen 0

Monday 31 May 2010 9:05

Hahaha he lit that ass on fire! Bravo

Zonadow 0

Monday 31 May 2010 9:09

Oh baby yes, move your tongue like--OH DEAR GOD MY ASS AAAUUGGGHHHHHH

Comments

Moo_Horse 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 1:44

i guess thing were getting pretty HOT lol get it like hot like a stove and it burns. forget you guys mom likes my jokes

hamroun12 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 13:55

Thats what i call ring burn.

NancyDeebensDPDS 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 1:56

lol this is a counter sight from that other FML

woody24 0

Monday 7 March 2011 2:57

this is a copy of a viral video.

softballrocks14 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 3:17

owie!

ThisRandomChild 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 10:20

He can repay you by rubbing the much-needed aloe on your ass...

Hypercrush80s 3

Wednesday 28 September 2011 1:24

Gives new meaning to the saying " hot piece of ass".

needsmoresleep 0

Wednesday 19 October 2011 20:06

that is HOT(;

xXT9Xx 0

Friday 21 October 2011 17:07

He was heating up that pussy for a snack ;D

LiquidPony 0

Sunday 30 October 2011 6:09

Clearly the point he's trying to get across is that he likes his bun's toasted

Keywords

Love Dreams Jealousy Video games Gamers Geek AITA Family Parents Kids Relatable Gun control Animals Amazon Money Annoying Cute Birthday Health Weird Awkward Abuse Scams Social Media Mysterious Friends Miscellaneous Education School Teenagers

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 241

You deserved it 37 869

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 721

You deserved it 4 756

The Top

Today, my job offer from 2 weeks ago was rescinded. My "new boss" didn't like my last performance review. I'd spent 30 hours preparing a case study for the second interview. He wants me to be a "standup guy" and withdraw my application voluntarily, so HR doesn't have to get involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 309

You deserved it 343

Today, my husband blew a tire in a hidden pothole on the way to work. I picked him up in my car later that day, only to hit an entirely different pothole, bending my rim, and catapulting my hubcap into the woods. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 657

You deserved it 189

Today, I was so sleep deprived that when a customer held their hand out to get their receipt, I slapped it without thinking about it. Great way to start 2024. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 308

Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 784

You deserved it 6 842

Today, I got punched after telling my 11-year-old cousin that her period is "coming for her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 1 244

Today, while taking out a jar of mayonnaise, it slipped from my hand, landing on its lid, exploding, and covering both of my dogs from head to tail in it. Terrified, they fled, leaving a trail of globs of mayo. After cleaning both dogs and the house, they both threw up from eating too much mayonnaise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 595

You deserved it 1 300

Sick burn

Same thing different taste

Fire hazard

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

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