Intimacy: Sex Ed is broken

Sex Ed is broken

By asnolt - 24/05/2011 22:29 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 692

You deserved it 9 362

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/10/2012 15:17 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 033

You deserved it 4 234

Prissy

By Anonymous - 29/07/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 561

You deserved it 7 280

You what?

By unknown - 02/11/2013 21:10 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 498

You deserved it 6 891

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 04:17 - Canada

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 274

You deserved it 12 185

By sorry, kiddo - 30/06/2013 21:44 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 454

You deserved it 10 180

By Noname - 12/03/2009 11:24 - New Zealand

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 231

You deserved it 18 038

By anonymous - 04/04/2013 22:52 - United States - Spring Valley

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 737

You deserved it 4 182

By kinky - 05/08/2010 00:24 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 640

You deserved it 37 988

By younggrammy - 20/08/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 208

You deserved it 45 452

How could you?

By Anon - 25/07/2022 06:00

Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 549

GiggidyPants 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 8:35

Jesus, I guess sex ed is important after all.

360XBOXFTW 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 8:35

wait... thats not normal?

Comments

cupcakexxrawr 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 19:10

maybe she's pregnant?? lol

life2007 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 20:23

she is a moron...congrats on way too much overprotecting and not teaching

staymintyfresh 13

Wednesday 25 May 2011 20:25

um is she like five? people know everything about sex before sex Ed... I mean alot of people are sexually active before sex Ed.

kreichert 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 20:26

...and this is why it's mandatory to take Health...

Slythrr 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 21:08

what?! that's news! sike! hahahahhahaha

M3GGATRON_fml 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 22:09

wow... didn't know we stilm had mothers like you on this earth. TEACH THIS POOR CHILD SOME STUFF !

nerwende_fml 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 22:52

Actually it's a guy. Just saying.

Igor_g5 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 22:32

In my opinion a man should not be discussing masturbation with his teenage daughter. Maybe just what I think.

nerwende_fml 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 22:41

No, that's the treatment for ignorance... By the way, how's your foster family doing?

Jstars131 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 22:46

oh.. seriously? :( no wonder im not geting pregnant!

pyrogirl6622 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 23:28

ok I think you went wrong somewhere because that's right up there with can't get knocked up on the first time you have sex.

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Kids Birthday Money Cute Weird Awkward Love Health Abuse Relatable Social Media Scams School Education Parents Anger issues Teenagers Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Geek Music Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, my mom has two workbenches in her basement. They are so cluttered, they have all but disappeared. Now that she’s actually building something, she just uses the chest freezer as a workbench. I’m hungry and my dinner is in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 92

Today, my boss fired me because someone hacked our website and replaced pictures of our products with furry porn (don’t Google it, it’s weird as fuck). We don’t have an IT department, but since I spend the most time on the computer controlling stock and purchases, he blamed me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 659

You deserved it 161

The Top

Today, I moved my kids and myself into my parents' house. My soon to be ex-husband keeps calling me from different numbers, crying for me to take him back. The sorry bastard kissed his best friend instead of me at midnight on New Year's Day because I was attending to my son who was afraid of fireworks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 330

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 165

You deserved it 4 949

Today, my boyfriend got rid of the full leg cast he had to wear for 6 weeks. He won't stop pissing in a bottle at night because it's more convenient than getting up. At least he empties it himself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 081

You deserved it 353

Today, the woman I've been dating for a while told me she wants to, "go back to day one of the relationship and just be friends first," but doesn’t want to break up or lose me, all because she’s having a midlife crisis. I was going to propose to her next month, I've already bought the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 106

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 294

You deserved it 4 018

Today, while at a party, a cute topless woman sat next to me to flirt with the guy on the other end of the couch. This is the closest I've been to a pair of boobs in 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 437

You deserved it 6 916