Setup

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

Today, I caught my "best friend" on my laptop, copying my girlfriend's nudes onto his flash drive. FML

What have you done now?

Today, my dad was sat on my laptop in the living room trying to learn how to do some rewiring around the house when he, and I quote, ”clicked on the thing.” My laptop is now riddled with so many viruses it’s basically a house brick. FML

Today, I got my laptop back after lending it to my friend. It wouldn't boot, and after investigating I found out it'd been stripped of its hard drive and all its memory. When I confronted my "friend", he accused me of lying and trying to ruin his reputation. FML

Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML

Suspicious activity

Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML

Today, I managed to infect a clean computer with a virus while looking up info on how to rid my other computer of the same virus. FML

History check

Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to see what websites I go on from my computer while I wasn't home. She clicked the link that gave my computer a virus that I just got rid of a few days ago. FML

YouTube? OurTube!

Today, I managed to convince my wife that a random YouTube profile logged into our bedroom TV was a hacker who'd hacked our Wi-Fi and planted a virus on our TV. She ate it up like an all you can eat buffet. The profile is actually a coworker of mine, who I’ve been secretly seeing. FML