Intimacy, Sex and Awkward: Sensual ASMR

Sensual ASMR

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 21:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, my husband woke me up by whispering, "Can I roast my meat rod in your fudge oven?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 219

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Same thing different taste

By pistonchamp159 - 28/08/2009 07:51 - United States

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 712

You deserved it 9 926

By szinna - 07/06/2009 19:14 - United States

Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bed caressing myself. He walked in, looked at me, and said, "Is the ground beef in the freezer still good?" When I answered yes, he turned and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 095

You deserved it 6 794

By sissica - 11/02/2009 23:52 - United States

Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 182

You deserved it 6 622

By Anonymous - 03/04/2011 15:14 - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 725

You deserved it 6 417

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 903

You deserved it 6 510

How deep is it?

By Anonymous - 22/12/2019 01:00

Today, my husband rolled over in his sleep, cuddled up to me, and lovingly whispered “I love you Pizza Hut...” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 269

By Indigo_Kitten - 08/08/2010 01:05 - United States

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 959

You deserved it 19 046

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 06:57 - United States

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 278

You deserved it 4 727

By fuck no - 22/08/2015 10:18 - India - Kollam

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 224

You deserved it 8 021

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 892

You deserved it 40 141

JasonThorn 19

Wednesday 21 June 2023 15:41

Respond with, "...No. Can you leave and send in the husband who isn't EIGHT YEARS OLD?"

spinningrecords 14

Wednesday 21 June 2023 21:57

Lol, at least he believes in foreplay

Comments

cuz803 44

Wednesday 21 June 2023 13:55

Well...can he?

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 21 June 2023 15:10

Where did he learn to talk like that?

JasonThorn 19

Wednesday 21 June 2023 15:41

Respond with, "...No. Can you leave and send in the husband who isn't EIGHT YEARS OLD?"

spinningrecords 14

Wednesday 21 June 2023 21:57

Lol, at least he believes in foreplay

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The Top

Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 181

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 753

You deserved it 3 574

The Top

Today, I vented to my friend about how unhappy I am and how I want to kill myself. What did she say? "Don't do that." That was it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 251

Today, my family had a secret meeting on my "puberty issues." I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 926

You deserved it 3 638

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 784

You deserved it 3 958

Today, it's been 5 years since I started a relationship with a man who'd hidden he was impotent and I was too deep into the relationship to break it off. I accepted the sex without penetration. but since then his libido has dropped too, we have no sex, and he won't see a therapist. I'm looking up gigolos, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm 42. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 332

You deserved it 461

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 262

You deserved it 5 119

Today, in the spirit of being helpful, I accidentally convinced the girl I'm secretly in love with to stay with her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 866

Sensual ASMR

Same thing different taste

The language of love

How deep is it?

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