Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML
Today, I found out that the co-worker I have been dating and falling for is the same co-worker that had been spreading rumors about me and getting me in trouble with my boss. FML
Today, my mother, who insists on sticking her nose into every aspect of my life, found out I'm only "middle management" and called my boss to criticize her for undervaluing me, demanding I be promoted immediately. I'm now the laughing stock of my office. FML
Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML
Today, my extremely lazy colleague received a promotion with benefits, while I was fired for "not being a team-player". I had stayed quiet about her constant negative behaviour because my supervisor had said we needed to "have each other's backs". While I was protecting hers, she put a knife in mine. FML
Today, I found out that a new coworker was spreading false rumours about me. I confronted her. and she basically ran to management and said I intimidated her even though other colleagues discredited her claims. She now continues spreading the rumours with her fake intimidation charges on top of it all. FML
Today, my wife somehow found out that my "surprise bonus" from earlier this year was actually hush money from my boss to keep quiet about her affair. Rather than let a good thing alone, she threw a fit and called my boss's husband. Now I'm jobless, and my boss has sworn I'll never work in my industry again. FML
Today, I found out why my District Manager won't promote me to store manager; his wife thinks he's having an affair with me. If he promotes me, she will take that as evidence of the affair, and then will threaten to divorce him. FML
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
Today, half of my office urged me to file a complaint against a coworker for aggressive behaviour, so I did. Less than 24 hours later, HR gave him a real dressing down and the whole office turned against me for ratting on him to management. FML
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Top comments
FMLshark 12
Well, she certainly sounds like a charming woman. "Horrible Bosses" came to mind.
comeatmebroo6254 1
Wow. I'm so sorry. Find a a way to get your boss in trouble! That is extremely unbusiness like and frankly, she sounds like a terrible boss.
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Comments (154)
ShyAnn29 15
That's awful of her to say to you, could you report her to someone? I know she's your boss, but she must have a boss also..?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
No, report her and the "mysterious person" who busted her car windows, slashed her tires and keyed various curse words into the hood of her car.
snowfox_fml 10
Don't worry, I find all managers a bit screwed in the head.
Mearemoi 14
This one seems a lot more than screwed in the head...
cswens25 8
It's only a matter of time before it all catches up to her. The sad thing is that you have to answer to somebody that acts like a twelve year old.
SneakyCaveman 13
Find someone to cast a spell that puts your boss under your control. It's the only logical solution to this problem.
lostinlabels 8
Time to get some ice cream. And by ice cream, I mean revenge.
xxDefiantxx 0
Sweet revenge is best served cold
SneakyCaveman 13
* "Revenge is a meal best served cold" *
DocBastard 40
Revenge is a dish best served cold.* Great, I've gone from a Grammar Nazi to a Proverb Nazi. What's next?
Shadow_Phantom 26
A real Nazi? ...I'm goin' to hell for this.
SneakyCaveman 13
I was going for the Man on Fire reference more than the proverb. I suppose I should have made that clear. Whoops.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
42) Surgical Nazi? "SIR, THAT IS NOT HOW YOU REMOVE AN APPENDIX. You do it like this" *does the exact same thing but slightly different* "There. See? This is why I--* *flat line* "****."
PYLrulz 17
I don't know what the employment rules are in Canada, but I'm sure that's worthy of being a hostile work environment.
Kiki242 19
Someone needs to give her a taste of her own medicine.
Forest_Berry95 6
Why moderate a comment if its an opinion. Frankly my opinion. I didn't imply that having rumors spread about you isn't "a good thing". I explained that I didn't understand how the op, obtained these rumors. And for that I meant that it 'shouldn't be a fml'. Frankly my statement was misunderstood, not "boring".
KingCeltic77 18
Bring that bitch down!
adrianasofias 3
Horrible Bosses!