Say it, don't spray it
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML
Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML
Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML
Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML
Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
acneegg 7
Sounds like something from Drag Me To Hell
lafrenchie 4
You'm had a panic attack, huh?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (70)
juniefry 0
FUCKINGEW.
Michigan_Girl 0
Why did you have your mouth opened in the first place dummy!
shelbylaineeee 0
ARE YOU RETARDED? why did i open my mouth to begin with? MAYBE if YOU had a job that required you to be super interactive with people, you'd know what im talking about. you're an idiot.
TheNewGuy03 29
i'm not easily disgusted, but... *gag* |the kid|
ckjacques53198 0
I would have puked on the spot. I don't know about an anxiety attack
pattyrn 0
major gross out, prob not even thinking about grammar
ScoobyDoo92 0
She deserves a swift flykick to the face.
mega18 0
i would pull a pistol out of my sock and shoot myself if that happened to me
emo_devon 11
dear god......and I thought to myself "ew fml" when I walked past a guy chatting to his friend in a VERY crowded hallway, and that chatting guy happened to have spat while chatting. That spit landed on my lips. but seriously, FYL OP
mschrisaya 4
Omg. That is horrid!
hellotayler 0
that is absolutely disgusting.