Today, my ex-boyfriend's attempt to win me back involved standing at the bottom of my apartment building with two airhorns, blasting them and shouting. And for some reason, singing "Sweet Caroline", even though that's not my name. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML
Today, my ex got dumped by his girlfriend. Seeing my opportunity, I sent him a song I'd written for him, about how much I still love him. He sent it on to the girl who had just dumped him, claiming he had written it. They're now back together. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend of over four years ago decided to turn up outside my house at 1 a.m., drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML
Today, I wanted to rub my success in my ex's face to get her back for breaking my heart. I typed the perfect email, included every detail of opening my own business, buying my own home and cleverly intertwined insults. A few hours later, she replied, "That’s nice. Who’s this?" FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML
Today, I was invited out to a date by my ex-boyfriend. He seemed really excited to reconnect and kept holding my hand and complimenting how I looked. Out of nowhere a girl runs up to him screaming. It was his current girlfriend, he was using me to make her jealous. FML
Today, I sent a text message to my boyfriend, saying, "Come over in an hour, I love you." An hour later, the doorbell rang. It was my ex, looking happy and still as smitten with me as before, with a bunch of roses. I'd got the wrong number. My ex and my boyfriend have the same name. FML
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Top comments
BIEBERSLAYER 10
Dont you mean your bf because How could you not take that winner back
bigjoekickass 0
Maybe he was asking for his other ex that lived in that building
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Comments (161)
kthxbai123 1
That's mine tho!
idrow 7
Yikes, that's disturbing. I see a restraining order in your future.
Carlie_McCartney 1
That's my name! :D Send him my way~
horrorfreak79nj 2
Do the right thing & stay as far away from him as you can. The only thing more retarded than his plan to 'woo' you over again & the way he constructed it is the people here who thinks its sweet and romantic, instead of retarded. (Tell your ex that no matter what he does in life, it will always end miserably & he should kill himself now in order to save himself all that embarrassment in the future)
iDONTNO54 0
You have no luck with girls, don't you? You cold-hearted prick
carobug 6
My name is Caroline, but so many people sing that song that it gets a bit annoying
tacotues1 1
he wants to be Neil diamond for you
boomsma 0
Was he drunk?!?!?
lifeisabitch43 4
At least he's your ex.
aPieceOfFruit 16
So romance isn't dead,....its just having a stroke.....lol
Coolguyt2 0
haha he can't even get your name right