Today, after coming home from a long day at work, I found out that in a house full of five adults, some rules still need to be set. The newest addition to the rules? No watching porn and jerking off in the living room. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I had to make a house rule for my extended family who live with me: No more incestuous sex. FML
Today, I am sat in a house with a husband and three teenage boys who are all grumpy and pretending it’s not because the government just stopped them from watching porn without showing their ID first. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
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Top comments
bwoolf96 21
Careful what you say when you bring it up, you could cause a mass-debate.
quinn1184 25
seems like a common courtesy.
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Comments (54)
purelymixed 17
Seems like a strict household
purelymixed 17
Sounds like they should come to America, where you're allowed to jerk it wherever you please
StickyPickles 33
I really hope it wasn't a group activity.
khorstmye 15
That's one rule that is sure to kill the mood. Where is your sense of adventure!?
worldclassrager 41
So no **** at all? That will not last long...now the living room point they will find a new place...
fariss 14
To make him learn, yell "IS THAT ANT D" while recording
Goblin182 27
And don't walk through the living room barefooted.
ghostwhisperer 7
I feel like I heard this story somewhere before.... from a coworker......
bigbulu 10
Its not their fault you have body issues.
TonierShadow 19
I told you, it's not a rule unless there is a sign on the wall.
ghostwhisperer 7
*guests come over* "why do you have a sign that says no jerk in off in the livingroom?"
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25
response to 28 question. " i dont know, have you read the sign above it, because i thought it says HOUSE RULES?