Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML
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Today, my wife has implemented a point-based system for sex. The list she sent shows I can I earn, for example, 20 points for washing the dishes, 50 for vacuuming the house, but only 5 for walking the dog. I get some action for every 5,000 points I earn, which should take about 4 months if I really work at it. FML
Today, I told my husband I was making a points system for him to earn sex by doing chores and favors. He said, "Okay, I'll make one for dates. Every time you go five days without whining or nagging me, you get a date." I give up. FML
Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML
Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years-old. FML
Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML
Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that would kill my sex drive, just so she wouldn't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML
Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
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Top comments
tanekdrachonae 19
Guess you should get to work then.
MelTheGreat 23
Sweep or weep.
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Comments (280)
Thunderstruck14 30
Wow. Two people have sex because they BOTH want to. Why would she get married to you if she dislikes ******* you? This isn't potty training, this is SEX. You really need to talk to her about this. She is being very unreasonable. Sex isn't something you earn, unless you're trying to earn money to get a prostitute. But she's your wife. You shouldn't have to earn sex from her. You have sex with her if you want to and she wants to. You do NOT have to lower yourself to a little child. If she wont have an ADULT discussion with you about this, then maybe you should try marriage counseling.
olpally 32
Um, right, because that's fair. I don't blame you if you left her. A rewards system? How old does she think you are? 10? This seems like a lost cause and she's a bitch.
siggy_mcsigx 22
I saw a stupid picture of this on facebook a few months ago...the greater the chore, the greater the sexual reward the husband got. Which is demeaning to everyone involved. Rip it off the wall and help out without prompting once in a while instead. You lazed around enough for her to feel this was necessary (unless she is a completely unreasonable bitch) so YDI.
mirrorfrost 11
Are you really that lazy around the house that she needs to do that, just to get help from you? That is truly sad.
charlson 9
You got a good wife, OP
ohnowhyme123 15
what happens when you go over 50?
amisenho 11
I don't know, but I can tell you what happens when he reaches the 69-point marker.
xSkittle 16
How childish. Or desperate, maybe OP is a lazy ass bitch
caitiebug1119 15
Dude, just pick up a rag and get to work. If she went through the trouble of making a chart and points system, you've been lazy too long. Sweep, dust, mop, put in a load of laundry, something! And contrary to popular belief, women don't like holding out on intimacy anymore than men.
BrotherPhil 35
Really?
ratherblunt 6
Wow. You're quite the lazy ass if she was pushed to this. Either pull your weight or get a job that pays well enough to hire a maid.
bittobug 5
That's really messed up. I would never do that to my husband. Maybe you should sit down and talk to her? I see that as unfair no matter what he does or doesn't do. He isn't a baby. And she isn't treating him like a husband..
bittobug 5
So that's an excuse to treat him like a dog? Maybe he's a great husband and she's just a nut job.
SuperMew 22
I agree that the chart is childish and neither of them seem to be handling this in a mature fashion. However, giving him sex "no matter what he does or doesn't" do is not something I agree with. If the guy is being a fucktard, and making me do all the chores, I am not sleeping with him, period.