Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML
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Today, my wife has implemented a point-based system for sex. The list she sent shows I can I earn, for example, 20 points for washing the dishes, 50 for vacuuming the house, but only 5 for walking the dog. I get some action for every 5,000 points I earn, which should take about 4 months if I really work at it. FML
Today, I told my husband I was making a points system for him to earn sex by doing chores and favors. He said, "Okay, I'll make one for dates. Every time you go five days without whining or nagging me, you get a date." I give up. FML
Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML
Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years-old. FML
Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML
Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that would kill my sex drive, just so she wouldn't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML
Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
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Top comments
tanekdrachonae 19
Guess you should get to work then.
MelTheGreat 23
Sweep or weep.
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Comments (280)
mastervuk 9
Find a new wife
kasmol 16
I bet the reward program is better elsewhere. Start shopping around.
archos58 10
Grow a pair and tell her you expect to have sex every week, and its up to her if she is there or not. You're her husband, not her ******* servant.
I_am_stupid_also 6
Time to dump her. it will only get worse and you will wind up getting in trouble. Bye Bye.
tukies 28
Yes, divorce is always the logical solution...
OMGthatssoCOOL 1
She is a genius - it's a simple case of supply and demand. No one is making you do anything.
griffy14 9
Wow, that is like a big relationship "no-no". I'm glad I don't have to deal with that. Personally I'd tell her to pack her shit and get out. But then again I have a boyfriend and I pay all the bills, so my situation is a bit different.
evolute72113 9
R the points all the same no matter the chore or differentiate and if they r the same points 4 each chore do u only get 1 point a chore?
Quiet_one 22
I'm guessing this isn't the first time she's asked for some help around the house...
FOOLnLOVE 2
Forget the chores and charts if you still let a woman control you with sex you're crazy! And you may be the only one not getting any
Enslaved 36
Damn! Are you that bad in bed? Is sex with you an equal chore? I guarantee if you actually made sure she got hers too, she wouldn't have leverage. Btw a clean house can be an aphrodisiac. Try helping out. You live in that house too. It shouldn't all fall on her.
BrotherPhil 35
Got to agree. Can't say I'd be interested in making love (or even just having sex) with a partner who wasn't having at least as much fun as me. Try doing the chores and then, if she offers "payment", saying that you're too tired.