Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML
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Today, my wife has implemented a point-based system for sex. The list she sent shows I can I earn, for example, 20 points for washing the dishes, 50 for vacuuming the house, but only 5 for walking the dog. I get some action for every 5,000 points I earn, which should take about 4 months if I really work at it. FML
Today, I told my husband I was making a points system for him to earn sex by doing chores and favors. He said, "Okay, I'll make one for dates. Every time you go five days without whining or nagging me, you get a date." I give up. FML
Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML
Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years-old. FML
Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML
Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that would kill my sex drive, just so she wouldn't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML
Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
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Top comments
tanekdrachonae 19
Guess you should get to work then.
MelTheGreat 23
Sweep or weep.
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Comments (280)
harrisoncohix 5
**** that, give her a Sex Punishment chart with one item: No sex until the Sex Rewards chart is gone.
allplayedout 20
What happened to make your wife that desperate to get your help around the house?
jim196802 2
Don't let her use sex as a weapon.if you give in to this it will only get worse.you should be pulling your fair shares of the house work though.but don't do it now it will only make it look like you are doing it to get sex. Maybe you should stop doing anything for her unless she pays for it with sex
amisenho 11
Then that would be stooping down to her level. What ever happened to mature adults getting married and discussing problems they have with each other?
MuppetMerkin 10
That's a good way to get a divorce...
gakule 0
Sounds like it's time to make a spending limit rewards chart that correlates with the amount of sex received. If she doesn't give in, spend it all on hookers and leave none for her extra spending. Win win really.
weanero 10
Run her a bath then washing the dishes and clean the floors, whilst she is in the bath back and foot rub and ask how her day was ... If this gets you enough points you might be allowed to join her in the bath
jefrey 9
Dude, i have extra points, need some?
amisenho 11
Don't you know? You can't combine two cards! Limit one card per transaction, good sir. I think OP's wife also forgot to mention that there's an expiration date.
perdix 29
You should secretly hire a maid. That way, you can solve your problem one way or the other ;). Maybe both ways :D
rjwelbo 8
What do you get for 100
sxm 13
Well she might be worth it. Clean the house and her good if you know what I mean.