Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my wife has implemented a point-based system for sex. The list she sent shows I can I earn, for example, 20 points for washing the dishes, 50 for vacuuming the house, but only 5 for walking the dog. I get some action for every 5,000 points I earn, which should take about 4 months if I really work at it. FML
Today, I told my husband I was making a points system for him to earn sex by doing chores and favors. He said, "Okay, I'll make one for dates. Every time you go five days without whining or nagging me, you get a date." I give up. FML
Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML
Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years-old. FML
Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML
Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that would kill my sex drive, just so she wouldn't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML
Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
tanekdrachonae 19
Guess you should get to work then.
MelTheGreat 23
Sweep or weep.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (280)
jtfrisch 22
Why go through all the work just for sex?
Flashman9000 9
Yeah you should leave her. She is using sex in a very unhealthy way.
myeviltwin 20
As long as the points are redeemable on demand (or able to reserve a time with short notice) for a variety of "acts" and they aren't too hard to earn, it sounds like a win in disguise. You get to put the points to what you want when you want and, you get the bed to yourself while earning them. And when she want's something from you put her on a points system (missionary=1 point anal=5 points with extra fractions for enthusiasm and performance and a sliding scale for anything in between). She want's expensive new shoes 500 points. A nice vacation 25,000+ she has to earn 250 points while on vacation :P etc.
intensitive 11
Maybe you should have done your part..
andreaor 7
This can go both ways, either your wife is putting you through cruel and unusual punishment, or it's a way of her telling you that you aren't pulling your weight in the household, which then YDI.
BFons 19
That's one of the saddest things I've heard. She turned something that is supposed to be beautiful and intimate between two people, and turned it into a petty reward system.
Randomxnp 10
No offence, but that sounds more like an ex-wife than a wife to me. If she does not grovel an apology then you should be going elsewhere. You are worth far more than a bitch who would do that.
nerovetsrethca 20
Well good luck OP!
FlyingPie 17
Doesn't she enjoy sex too? Or does she only use sex to make you do chores?
tommygunkid 4
By that logic sex is solely a reward for you and you're under no obligation to try and please her during.