Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
Today, I received a call from a potential employer. I was excited, until my roommate starts loudly moaning sexually in the background. The interviewer got offended and hung up. My roommate did it because I "made her" pay my half of the rent this month. FYI, I’m unemployed. FML
Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML
Today, I was chilling at home when my roomie cruised in with a baddie on his arm. She turned out to be a total ho and started trying to get in my pants while he was sitting RIGHT THERE. I did everything I could to shake her off and in the end I just asked her to leave. Fuck, I feel bad for him. FML
Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML
Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my roommate to chip in for electricity costs. She called me a bitch, proceeded to tell me she can't afford it, despite working full time and me part time, and blocked me on all communications. Uhm, what ? FML
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Top comments
lovelockdown23 23
Who gives up their virginity out of spite? she's an idiot
Jefffz 13
You should have asked her if you could split the guy too
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Comments (89)
Mortoli 30
sry to hear
Dustmop 18
There just seems more to the story than that. Like did she know you liked him? Were they already having a relationship? Are you sure it really was out of spite? Could you have just interpreted it that way? There seems like there's so much more to the story.
alchemist27 13
Women are scary when you piss them off.
coolbeansbruh 13
she's a bitch. and you don't need some guy who's willing to do anyone who wants it. **** them both. move out. and take her half of the bill on ur way out.
deejflat 17
She has to get rent money somehow!
xxWTFxx1981 23
You asked her to pay the bill and he offered to help her out with the bill.. She was repaying his kindness :-). So you see she was only trying to fulfill her obligation...