Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
Today, I received a call from a potential employer. I was excited, until my roommate starts loudly moaning sexually in the background. The interviewer got offended and hung up. My roommate did it because I "made her" pay my half of the rent this month. FYI, I’m unemployed. FML
Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML
Today, I was chilling at home when my roomie cruised in with a baddie on his arm. She turned out to be a total ho and started trying to get in my pants while he was sitting RIGHT THERE. I did everything I could to shake her off and in the end I just asked her to leave. Fuck, I feel bad for him. FML
Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML
Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my roommate to chip in for electricity costs. She called me a bitch, proceeded to tell me she can't afford it, despite working full time and me part time, and blocked me on all communications. Uhm, what ? FML
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Top comments
lovelockdown23 23
Who gives up their virginity out of spite? she's an idiot
Jefffz 13
You should have asked her if you could split the guy too
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Comments (89)
albertozeta_fml 9
A comma between "bill" and "by" would have been helpful.
TeacherTeacher 11
#43 it would also be incorrect. If you are going to troll grammar, know the rules. "By losing her virginity..." is not an independent clause. OP, sorry that happened, but now you know what she really values and you can plan accordingly. Also, the guy doesn't deserve your interest if he's that easy.
Ieri 31
I doubt anyone would just do that, especially if they were a virgin just because you asked for their share of the bill. Maybe she has been seeing him for a while now and hasn't told you? Her just having casual intercourse to get back for something so unrelated doesn't make sense. Or maybe you aren't telling us the story properly (Which of course I understand would be hard to put in a small box)
trtnt25 19
She sounds pathetic
downlowjigelow02 11
if she gave it up that easy she was not a virgin anyways and if you didn't want him sleeping with your roommate then you should've gave it up and he would have been banging you instead... uh oh here comes the negatives lol
awesomeness989a 6
At least she can only do that once. Sorry OP.
ladytigerhunts 20
That's a stupid reason to have sex in general.
Brandi_Faith 34
I was looking for this comment. I think it's more realistic that she happened to like the guy too and he happened to like her back. I don't think it was actually spite. Plus, just because op liked the guy it doesn't mean she had any claim to him.
Saraishi 25
V-card is for Vendetta. Awful situation for you OP but you'll always know she's a bitch that opened her legs just to stab someone in the back for a petty squabble; someone like that, vindictive, isn't someone people tend to stay around with. Who knows, she might really regret it in time as well. You can always get romantically involved with the guy you like but she'll always just be an easy lay.
oakcrush 16
That sucks.
habibexpress 5
Don't beat yourself up. She sounds like a slapper!