Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
Today, I received a call from a potential employer. I was excited, until my roommate starts loudly moaning sexually in the background. The interviewer got offended and hung up. My roommate did it because I "made her" pay my half of the rent this month. FYI, I’m unemployed. FML
Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML
Today, I was chilling at home when my roomie cruised in with a baddie on his arm. She turned out to be a total ho and started trying to get in my pants while he was sitting RIGHT THERE. I did everything I could to shake her off and in the end I just asked her to leave. Fuck, I feel bad for him. FML
Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML
Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my roommate to chip in for electricity costs. She called me a bitch, proceeded to tell me she can't afford it, despite working full time and me part time, and blocked me on all communications. Uhm, what ? FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lovelockdown23 23
Who gives up their virginity out of spite? she's an idiot
Jefffz 13
You should have asked her if you could split the guy too
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (89)
xx000o 27
Just because she's a ***** doesn't mean that you can't have a relationship with him.
leogachi 15
I agree, but I think Op was just hurt by having to listen as the guy she likes hooked up with another girl.
Noreason89 6
Sleeping with one guy makes you a ***** now? incredible
abNormal62 23
Was the guy you like a bill collector?
bdsmslave 18
Oh, she wasn't being loud out of pleasure. It's just the sound that dignity makes when it leaves your body. Don't worry about it.
rvontr88 21
Just don't slap her, you'll get **** on your hand. Very hard to clean off! I'm so sorry that happened to you!
fonkimonki 7
What's she gonna do for next month's bill?
kurodansei 16
Who's
CyberHex 7
Move out. You dont deserve to live with such a girl. Let the stupid people befriend each other.
marcelmg 10
She is cheap!
fin55 17
Oh no how dare you ask her for her share of the bills
worldclassrager 41
Which bills was it?
jberg583 12
Well that escalated quickly