Health, Relationships and Awkward: Remember planking?

Remember planking?

By say dump him and i'll kill you - 29/12/2012 00:50 - United Kingdom - Soham

Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 767

You deserved it 4 112

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anon - 31/12/2012 18:13 - United States - Gilroy

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 259

You deserved it 3 146

Hammer-headed

By Anonymous - 11/08/2014 16:27 - Canada - Saint John

Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment is for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket, because walking is "too painful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 275

You deserved it 4 944

When pranking goes too far

By Anonymous - 27/03/2021 20:01

Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 201

Thanks Steve-O

By Anonymous - 30/07/2014 08:21 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 536

You deserved it 5 136

Panic

By Danger Dave - 21/12/2020 04:58

Today, it's been almost 24 hours since my wife bent down and couldn't get back up. After laying in bed all day in agony with a bad back, an ambulance was called. She still currently can't stand in the hospital. I have two kids to look after and am supposed to be in work tomorrow. I have no idea what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 559

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 16:18 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 391

You deserved it 4 056

The hero we need

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I saw someone get out of a car without putting it in park. I sprinted over and jumped in, trying to stop the car before it went down an incline. I didn't make it. I now have a dozen broken bones, need surgery, and was just informed I'm being held responsible for the wreck, since I was in it last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 457

Hurting over here

By wo-ow - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Bronx

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 737

You deserved it 4 389

No pain, no meds

By I don’t stink - 01/05/2020 20:00

Today, I finally got to come home after hours spent in a locked down ER after a car accident. My injuries were non life-threatening, but pretty damn painful. I asked my sister to pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy for me. She got drunk and "lost them", AKA gave them to her dirtbag boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 007

You deserved it 314

By Mariah Heimann - 15/12/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 130

You deserved it 3 386

LarryLaDouche 13

Saturday 29 December 2012 5:19

Dump him. Come at me OP!

mackdeezy 22

Saturday 29 December 2012 5:21

Lol at your username OP. Youve anticipated a common response from the FML community. Well done.

Comments

Catkam623 27

Saturday 29 December 2012 18:21

Could be worse he could have crashed the car too

wheresthebeef69 4

Saturday 29 December 2012 19:13

Just because he wants to have fun doesn't mean u should b made at him. Go suck itself u stupid American.

lowshadows 21

Saturday 29 December 2012 20:30

ha! someone spam "dump him" on this FML.

fortunelady 15

Saturday 29 December 2012 20:41

Love the username... Although it seems to have been only partially effective, there are still a few break-up suggestions in here that seem to be serious. Glad OP isn't considering anything drastic!

Ray_of_midnight 22

Saturday 29 December 2012 21:46

Were the words "Hold my beer, mate" involved?

someguy314159265 15

Saturday 29 December 2012 23:29

Will you inherit all his money when he finally kills himself?

Obey_StudBoii 23

Sunday 30 December 2012 0:21

Dump him!! Come on OP!

janro72 10

Sunday 30 December 2012 4:10

lets hope stupidity doesn't run through the family. whether your dad was drunk or not

thefuckinloser 6

Sunday 30 December 2012 5:02

Now did you marry a man or a teenager? Well you matried him he is all yours

DanielleinDC 33

Sunday 30 December 2012 17:24

What the hell were he and his friends thinking?! And maybe they should help take care of him since they're the ones who at a minimum didn't stop him and at a maximum encouraged him to try for a Darwin Award (by the way, you should send your story there as well). I won't suggest you dump him because childish stupidity is not a dumping offense, but I will urge you not to breed with this idiot.