Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML
Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML
Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonald's, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML
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Top comments
JocelynKaulitz 28
Good thing it wasn't you?
foxesntea 22
At least you didn't feel the horror?
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Comments (24)
Lonestar7 4
Now that's multi-tasking at its finest my friend...err I mean nastiest!
ryand82 11
haha
CalculatedRisk 19
I'm sure theres some kind of pun to be made about being blessed after sneezing and ********... something something holy shit.
devinaww 15
How do you witness such a thing? X-ray vision?
Shadowvoid 33
You have to admit, that's still pretty impressive.
TheNewGuy03 29
Instead of burning the candle at both ends, the person just blew both those ******* right off.
whatunicorn 17
sounds like a shitty situation.
Catdragon 40
This reminds me, while riding the bus I had to witness someone keel over and vomit everywhere. poor me. fml
cuz803 46
It could have been much worse. The person probably didn't cover their nose or didn't clean up in the bathroom!
KingKralj 31
I can just imagine the other person's fml xD "Today, I was at the mall. I sneezed and shat myself. FML"