Today, my brother and his wife, who is 6 months pregnant, disturbed our boring family vacation by having really loud sex. Our Mother then began a sentence aimed at me that started with, "I think if you showed more enthusiasm…" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML
Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
Today, I walked in on my wife bouncing up and down on my brother’s lap. She proceeded to throw a tantrum, crying that it was “my fault” for coming home unannounced and ruining everything. She then stormed off into our room. My brother just sheepishly pulled his pants up and left our house. FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, we got back from vacation. In the lead up to our vacation, my girlfriend talked excitedly about all the sex we could have. When we got to the hotel, I heard, "I can't be comfortable, what if they hear us in the hall?" After we got home, first thing was, "I want to deep clean the bedroom, sex can wait." FML
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
I'm seeing them doing it doggie-style on the kitchen table while everyone is having breakfast, while Mom nonchalantly delivers her line. Does that sound right?
OnReceivingEnd 18
"Are you crazy? I don't want to have sex with my brother! EWW!!" Just to see the look on her face.
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Comments (4)
FuuMyLifuu 2
test test
RichardPencil 32
I'm seeing them doing it doggie-style on the kitchen table while everyone is having breakfast, while Mom nonchalantly delivers her line. Does that sound right?
OnReceivingEnd 18
"Are you crazy? I don't want to have sex with my brother! EWW!!" Just to see the look on her face.