Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he never wants to sleepover anymore. He said he loves me, but that sleeping next to me is like sleeping next to someone reenacting the crucifixion while being mauled to death by squirrels. So much for cuddling through the night. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML
Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML
Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML
Today, it was my first time sleeping at my boyfriend’s house. I happened to have an incredibly realistic nightmare in which I woke up to thousands of centipedes crawling all over my body. My boyfriend got to watch me scream and slap myself repeatedly. FML
Today, I found a disturbing video on my 8-year-old's tablet. In the video, I was suffering from sleep paralysis. He's convinced I'm part demon. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
I hope he doesn't twitch in his sleep. Also he's an idiot who will probably end up stabbing himself and you (if you're staying over).
Dimence 9
Just, run.
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Comments (106)
iloveandy143 7
Reminds me of one of the first times my ( now ex ) bf spent the night at my house. He got a large kitchen knife from my drawer and put it on the bedside table. " just in case someone broke in "
Turtle_rebellion 10
There's nothing wrong with this. Many people sleep with a weapon by their bed. The point of the fml is that he thinks that he was possessed by a deamon
ode_2_jessegan 2
He was a Boy Scout, wasn't he? ;)
Turtle_rebellion 10
Ya, possessions are real bro, and if the demons don't get killed off by the end of 2012, aliens will kill us all! True story
AGRAT_fml 0
Paranormal Activity 4!
yoshikatshomoto 2
Sounds about right.
SouthernSweetie 13
The knife shouldn't really scare you my boyfriend does the same thing for protection in case someone brakes in. I'd be more concerned about how he thinks demons are trying to feast on his soul.
camg_fml 2
Throw holy water and salt in his face. If he reacts get in a circle made of salt and hope he doesn't kill you! Good Luck! :3 If it works in Supernatural it should work here!
IncredibleHauk15 1
Crazy people these days!
bobbos100 2
Wear garlic and a cross plus carry a silver bullet and use holy water for evil spirits--- cover all your bases . He sounds weird unless he is just playing with u.
AerBear115 15
I think your boyfriend needs to go the a mental help place. If he was once "possessed" the "dark spirits" shouldn't be "feasting on his soul" anymore