Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he never wants to sleepover anymore. He said he loves me, but that sleeping next to me is like sleeping next to someone reenacting the crucifixion while being mauled to death by squirrels. So much for cuddling through the night. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML
Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML
Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML
Today, it was my first time sleeping at my boyfriend’s house. I happened to have an incredibly realistic nightmare in which I woke up to thousands of centipedes crawling all over my body. My boyfriend got to watch me scream and slap myself repeatedly. FML
Today, I found a disturbing video on my 8-year-old's tablet. In the video, I was suffering from sleep paralysis. He's convinced I'm part demon. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
I hope he doesn't twitch in his sleep. Also he's an idiot who will probably end up stabbing himself and you (if you're staying over).
Dimence 9
Just, run.
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Comments (106)
loserman67 36
Why didn't your FML start with "My EX-boyfriend"? One night, while you're giving him head, he'll think your a demon sucking his soul out through his penis and then your head will slowly roll across the floor. Run for your life - - RIGHT NOW!
Ozuru 11
This was one of the best comments I've seen in a long time.
christopherryan 0
I'm guessing this is the first comment you've ever seen then?
robert76 5
I think the answer to your question lies in OP's username.
mpalmiter4717 8
Op, maybe this is a mental health issue. Please be careful and don't just assume everything will be OK. Take it from someone who knows.
Supernovas_Child 13
This sounds exactly like my ex.
Dracoboxer357 36
Op, if you want to stay with your boyfriend, get him to talk to someone in the medical community. I mean, if he's wrong about the demons, he may need help. However, if he's right, a knife won't do jack (except maybe harm you in the process), and the talking with someone won't hurt. Might want to err on the side of caution with this one.....
jem970 19
Edit: research has since swayed my opinion. I am not saying that all documented possessions are the real deal but some are. Do some research and then get back to me. And try and keep an open mind. It's hard but try.
karmaababyy 5
For your safety, you should leave him before he seriously hurts you.
Chazzzor 10
He's either mentally I'll and potentially unstable or acting out a pathetic fantasy to get attention. Either way, disengage yourself from this loser (carefully) before you get hurt.
jenniiienyc 5
As long as you're not feasting on his soul, I see no problem for you.
TheDrifter 24
How much soul does one person need? He's just being xenophobic, hating the poor soul sucking demons.
KiddNYC1O 22
Oh, you could sleepover. Just keep one eye open.