Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he never wants to sleepover anymore. He said he loves me, but that sleeping next to me is like sleeping next to someone reenacting the crucifixion while being mauled to death by squirrels. So much for cuddling through the night. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML
Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML
Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML
Today, it was my first time sleeping at my boyfriend’s house. I happened to have an incredibly realistic nightmare in which I woke up to thousands of centipedes crawling all over my body. My boyfriend got to watch me scream and slap myself repeatedly. FML
Today, I found a disturbing video on my 8-year-old's tablet. In the video, I was suffering from sleep paralysis. He's convinced I'm part demon. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
I hope he doesn't twitch in his sleep. Also he's an idiot who will probably end up stabbing himself and you (if you're staying over).
Dimence 9
Just, run.
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Comments (106)
mehlala 4
You know, I can't help but notice that your location is in Minnesota. Is your boyfriend by any chance Hmong-Asian? If he is, then it's not that unusual for him to do that because of that culture and their beliefs. If he's not Hmong or even Asian... I hope you stay safe O_O
EandL_fml 2
and you are still with him? why????
raygwk 2
weird ... i do the same thing with my knife ^^
HyperBowser1 3
Sorry, this is probably my bad for possessing him ^_^
Levvy 22
His dramatic turn of phrase seems more indicative of attention-whoring than delusion.
GryffinDarkBreed 3
You picked him, YDI.
noisebox 1
Time to do an exorcism and rid yourself of that schizophrenic demon before it's too late, when you wake up and find find yourself in the dark deep eternal hell fire damnation of the soul....(what?)...
Fisheyedfool7 2
Why are you with a freak like that? You sound desperate. YDI!
esines 9
It happens? Do you think it's a regular thing for people to get possessed by demons or something?
scuttlebuttz 1
If he isn't joking that is an instant break up. If you stay with him OP you are an absolute moron.