Embarrassing, Surgery and Health: Padded out

Padded out

By Ian - 18/04/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 870

You deserved it 6 482

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By hurtinrealbad - 16/10/2012 17:25 - United States - Tempe

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 111

You deserved it 1 973

By Britney - 24/10/2011 22:06 - United States

Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 512

You deserved it 2 354

Rock and a hard place

By Mo. - 03/10/2020 01:13 - United States

Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 165

Thanks, I'm cured!

By fuauntflo - 07/07/2020 17:01

Today, I went to the ER because of an intensely heavy flow. They kept me waiting so long that, although I was wearing a super absorbent tampon and a pad, I still bled through three times. When I was finally seen, the doctor said, "Try using a higher absorbency and follow up with your regular physician." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 117

You deserved it 187

Double down

By coyote - 02/09/2010 07:25 - Japan

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 035

You deserved it 2 805

What even is that?

By git recked lul - 01/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 151

We're keeping you in for observation

By CysterGurl - 18/07/2022 10:00

Today, I got a bartholin cyst drained. The doctor told me to keep it clean and dry, no pain meds given, just swelling and a catheter. I almost passed out a short while afterwards so I went to the ER. Now I’m drugged up and sitting in one spot for the next few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 74

By stitchesupmyass - 01/11/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 751

You deserved it 4 682

By fatflabbyfail - 20/02/2010 06:09 - United States

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 148

You deserved it 42 311

By screaming monkey - 04/04/2012 10:13 - United Kingdom - Whitton

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 295

You deserved it 2 106

CherishFlowers 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:13

LMAO, nice. Imagine if someone heard you changing your pad in the bathroom... haha

Carribu 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:02

How the hell do you get a cyst on your ass?

Comments

begrunge 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 0:19

There's an obvious solution: just dont show off your ass... seriously...

lavabeast 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 0:26

I suppose a little bright note is that girls send their guys out the buy those things all the time, so no one will even look at you funny at the pharmacy/grocery store/wherever.

W33nie 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 0:29

Thanks, I have a really nice image in my mind now

dedre 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 0:37

Hey fyi it happened to me too, though I never wore maxi pads, I just splurged on medical-grade gauze and medical tape (and went through a LOT of it)!

abcdefgh_fml 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 0:46

well now you know how a girl feels....i guess not including the cramps, bloating, and moodswings. but im sure a cyst is about equal to all of those right?! haha well good luck!

TryToBeKind 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 0:49

That really sucks, and there's no way you deserve it for having a medical procedure done. I hope your ass gets better soon.

lumberjack44 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 0:51

been there dude, but mine took a year and a half to heal, and they wanted me to get my college roommate to change the bandages for me. Little awkward taking pads to the bathroom with you when you share one with 100 other guys.

helen__fml 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 0:54

#27 nope. never heard of it

cheetahh45 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 1:06

i had a cyst on my butt it actually is very trucking painful esspecially when you have to pull the gauze out a few days later... i had to wear a pad for a month. Its better then wearing a diaper or staining your whiteys

boopeedoop 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 1:20

eeek! I am sorry to hear about that! I am a girl and did have a Pilondial cyst as well and it is very very painful, but different then a period pain. I am sorry for anyone who has to go through it. I opted to get mine lanced the first time, but the second time, I just let it do it's own thing, and took a lot of herbs in the meantime so that I wouldn't get an infection. It really really really helps to wash with pure glycerin soap, and dry that area VERY VERY well. That's what I have been doing and it's been over two years since I last had one. Good luck and feel better!