Healthy Lifestyle, Poopoo peepee and Health: Ouch

Ouch

By sadface - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 798

You deserved it 7 510

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By clitorasaurus - 21/08/2010 06:09 - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 628

You deserved it 33 012

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 933

You deserved it 7 351

By BrownDump - 14/05/2011 10:43 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 344

You deserved it 14 200

Where am I?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 280

You deserved it 5 038

Give me strength

By wtbfiber - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 533

You deserved it 6 468

By paulinapo - 28/03/2013 13:52 - United States - Staten Island

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 397

You deserved it 2 856

Fighting fit

By AnonThoughts - 24/10/2019 06:00

Today, my body is so messed up that I pulled a muscle in my side while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 457

You deserved it 335

By 092492 - 05/03/2011 21:53 - United States

Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 554

You deserved it 3 997

By Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 501

You deserved it 12 940

Always wear camo gear

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 00:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I took a huge shit halfway through my gym workout, one of them half-wet, messy, stuck in your butt hairs. Three rolls and an anus with the feeling of carpet burn later, I proceeded to the bench feeling strong. At the twelfth rep, I sharted, right in my brand new gray pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 332

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 4 January 2010 12:31

most. intense. shit. ever.

Impromptu_fml 0

Monday 4 January 2010 12:22

That'll teach you to build it up. Next time, when nature calls, pick up the phone.

Comments

CRlovers123 0

Friday 13 August 2010 1:26

how may I ask?

sixdeadkittens 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 4:28

lolololol how do u pull a pigs string????

Cesar8 4

Thursday 21 April 2011 5:38

lmfao

thagr3at 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 22:39

AMAZING

eash12 11

Tuesday 23 August 2011 15:07

for some reason, the first time I read this I read "pulled a hamster out" so disturbed

justnattlia 4

Friday 9 December 2011 17:41

That's some serious shit

dpt91 3

Thursday 4 October 2012 13:09

Shit day

Flesheatinmonkey 3

Monday 22 April 2013 4:20

You shat bricks

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my husband has recently discovered prostate play. He is now using my sextoys to pleasure himself and not telling me until after. He doesn't see the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 185

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 601

You deserved it 68 725

Today, my 3-year-old said she wanted “hair like the dog”, so I cut it to about the same length as our pooch’s fur. Now she's crying because she didn’t realize her hair would regardlessly be less fluffy than the dog’s and she therefore ended up with “hair like a boy,” which of course she hates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 2 013

Today, a customer limped over to me in one of the dishwasher aisles and asked if we sold dishwashers. I said yes and pointed at all the dishwashers. He looked around for a couple of seconds, belched, then said "Oh... right!" and walked off. No commission for me, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 491

You deserved it 4 163

Today, after years of trying to get with my best friend, whom I've loved for years and years, she still won't get with me and would rather go back to her abusive narcissist ex who talks mad shit on her and treats her like shit. I've told her how beautiful she is every morning for years, but won't give me a try. Nice guys never win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 1 655

Today, every time I think of having any children, I remember that an idiotic neighbor let her kids paint all over my car with permanent marker, so I eventually forget about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 138