Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML
Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend with a serenade. After I finished, she told me she'd come over to tell me she'd found someone else and wanted to break up. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for someone else. An hour earlier I had just gotten permission from her dad to propose. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML
Today, after the girl I fell head over heels for asked me out last night, it turns out she was so drunk at the time, she doesn't remember and doesn't want to date me at all. I'm beginning to feel like my life is some shitty movie. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
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Top comments
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Drunk call her back so you have an excuse to call her a stupid bitch.
autinyork 6
Lol I once did that. Jk, what's a girlfriend?
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Comments (77)
Kaylee_Knudsen 19
Eesh. Sounds like drinking should be off your to do list.
Fernando83 19
I agree, if you can't hold your liquor then don't drink. Also, I'm sure she doesn't want to be dating an alcoholic.
WhitneyAndGdrago 10
I can't believe some people act like that sorry op
Tijenai 5
Was expecting to click "YDI" when I saw "drunk called", but damn. Sorry Op
mansen 15
Night of heavy drinking hey? How frequent are your nights of drinking? Perhaps your ex didn't break up with you because she was 'too pretty to be with you', but had enough of the nights of drinking? Need more information to really judge if the gf was being a bitch or the OP has a problem.
love_me_electric 20
Exactly what I was thinking. If I had a bf who constantly drunk-dialed me in the middle of the night and woke me up I would probably break up with him too.
greenmen 12
Truth isn't always true. There is always a lie behind it. You have got truth scammed!!
greenmen 12
I am sorry for you she didn't listen to the real truth! Who dose? Sorry op you are screwed
Hawaii84 16
You don't need her she is conceited and egotistic.
Omniprism 15
Well now you are free to find someone who appreciates you.
jw90 18
@ 18 that's how my friend drunk calls girls. "Hey, I'm so drunk right now..but that's ok, cuz I love you and I want I be with you..shut up Josh I'm trying to tell this chick I love her. I don't care if I just met her! I love her! Anyway babe..yea lets go out sometime."
frod0 10
That's shitty :( I hope you're okay!
hordriss 14
Man that's harsh!