Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML
Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend with a serenade. After I finished, she told me she'd come over to tell me she'd found someone else and wanted to break up. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for someone else. An hour earlier I had just gotten permission from her dad to propose. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML
Today, after the girl I fell head over heels for asked me out last night, it turns out she was so drunk at the time, she doesn't remember and doesn't want to date me at all. I'm beginning to feel like my life is some shitty movie. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
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Top comments
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Drunk call her back so you have an excuse to call her a stupid bitch.
autinyork 6
Lol I once did that. Jk, what's a girlfriend?
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Comments (77)
Stayin_Classy777 8
If you drink that much, maybe you were right.
YouKnowIMeantMe_ 21
If it wasn't a regular occurrence, and my bf drunk-called me all cute while out with his friends, I'd be happy. It would mean that even drunk he was thinking about me and not doing stupid things. But yes, this story definitely needs a follow up explaining more.
jenn1808 16
I don't really have any sympathy for people who get black out drunk...perhaps she didn't dump you because she's beautiful, she dumped you because you have issues with alcohol.
Major_Mess 8
Well it seems like you might be an honest drunk.
darkmis1 18
I have a feeling she broke up with you because of your drinking...not because she agreed with you. Though that could have had something to do with it.
hey_itskrissy 5
Get drunk again and call her back to tell her you already found someone.
circlelranch69 1
OP did you learn anything?
japtap81 16
Well Atleast u got a better reply than ok. Or nothing at all.
burritosrgood 12
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DorkAlert 10
One of the reasons I don't get drunk.