Today, an elderly gentleman walked into the UPS Store where I work asking to use the laminating machine. I explained to him that we keep it behind the counter and I would do it for him, when he produced several graphic photos of him having sex with nasty looking women to be laminated. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was at a business supply store, I decided to get my old paper birth certificate laminated so it wouldn't deteriorate further. The people working decided to wait until after it was done and I had paid to tell me that laminating a birth certificate voids it. FML
Today, a customer checking out a camera at my pawnshop asked if the memory cards got erased. I said yes. He asked if I had a case for it and I left to get it. I came back and the guy said, "There's naked pictures on this memory card!" I Look at the LCD screen and it's a picture of his own dick, which he'd just taken in the store. FML
Today, I was using a Kodak Picture Maker in Walmart. I needed help using the machine so the lady that works there came over and tried to load my pictures. I heard some snickering behind me from the people in line. Turns out the pictures loaded. Even the nude ones I forgot about. FML
Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML
Today, I went to CVS to print out some pictures. I accidentally printed out a booty pic, tried to go behind the counter and they yelled at me, "Ma’m you’re not supposed to be behind here." Then the lady held up the picture and said, "Was this one the accident?" FML
Today, in the magazine section of a bookstore, an old dude asked me politely to grab something that he couldn't reach. I did so with a smile, touched by his "nice old guy" demeanour, only glancing at the item in question as I handed it to him. It was a porn mag. FML
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
Today, at work, the security threw out an old man in his 80s who had been caught masturbating while hiding in the ladies' changing room. I thought it was funny until my manager told me to clean up that very same changing room with the old man spunk all over the wall and floor. FML
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Top comments
Jimboom 12
More worryingly, why does he want to do with them that would require them to be laminated????
Jimboom 12
At least you didn't see the picture with your mama in that lot
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Comments (62)
Caching 0
Awesome.
d347hm4n 0
#5, your a genius!
Lucicx0 0
ommmgggdkfhadiurgadfjkzxc*pukes*
ubbernoob 0
wow. . . he obviously wanted to preserve them. . . maybe it made it easier to wipe them off. . . ugh.
King_of_Kings_2 0
im with #13 on this one. Lucicx0, whats up my fellow Bostonian friend? in case your wondering why my thing says King_of_Kings_2, im using my back up account. i cant use my King_of_Kings account for 7 days. its a long story. but anyway, i know what you mean by *puking* i nearly gagged after reading this one.
cheeze_fml 0
The old guy probably doesn't get it very often and needs the photos preserved for ... *ahem*... reference material. Be that as it may, most photo shops and copy shops have a "No explicit content" warning for work they do. Maybe it's time for UPS to get such a warning, or to pay their employees more to cater to the crowd looking to preserve memories of their nasty between-the-sheets adventures.
Lucicx0 0
what uuuup, haha damn that sucks, but thats funny you made a backup account. yea this FML is pretty gruesome :]
King_of_Kings_2 0
#17 nothing much. im just listening to some Zeppelin, and passing time with fmylife. anything new goin on with you? oh, and do you have a myspace? if so, you should shoot me a friend request. you can find me at http://www.myspace.com/thebestwhoeverlived
RLJJ 0
This guy is a customer, your duty is to process his paperwork, and even if you happen to notice the content that's none of your business.
Lucicx0 0
oh you know just reading all these ridiculous fmls, and the comments, its so addicting now. nah i dont have a myspace, just wondering are you in college in boston?