Intimacy: Oh yeah?

Oh yeah?

By alexis89 - 26/05/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 576

You deserved it 20 211

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Same thing different taste

Orders

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 270

You deserved it 9 167

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 346

You deserved it 2 779

Acting is hard work

By S. Dub - 10/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 982

You deserved it 315

Excuuuuuuse me?

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 13:32 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 554

You deserved it 11 524

By milked - 27/02/2015 05:28 - United States

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 458

You deserved it 6 877

Turned off

By picturemenakedbaby - 21/07/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 038

You deserved it 12 738

By 504-A1 - 11/05/2012 22:02 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 554

You deserved it 10 433

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 811

You deserved it 4 453

So sensual...

By Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 134

You deserved it 1 178

By uhoh - 16/02/2013 05:27 - Canada - Sechelt

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 567

You deserved it 60 009

annis_fml 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:28

lol...he seems to have some insecurity issues

rukusrazor 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:31

What a loser, unless you are a constant nag, so much so that he thinks everything you say to him sounds like you're telling him what and how to do.

Comments

amykillswitch 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 7:25

Lol it sounds like he has more estrogen than you do. Maybe you should let him be the bitch next time and see if he feels more at home.

gook_killer 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 7:30

lmfao 123 FTW!!

chimmy 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 7:39

i clicked fyl, but apparently that's NOT happening... sorry! i don't know why that sounds too dirty or demanding, unless u edited this for the fml audience. your bf has issues.

love_is_pain 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 7:43

77 and 87 hahhahahahhhahaha so funny and i hav to agree this FML has THEEE best comments ever lol

FarSide 22

Wednesday 27 May 2009 7:58

I do not accept the premise that he is insecure, or that he is even at any fault. Insecure is possible. But it most likely would have manifested itself earlier. I would give him the benefit of doubt... this time. Perhaps you are a frigid chick. So he HAS to work his ass and other parts off to give you a Big O. It can be frustrating to keep banging away and not get anywhere. Perhaps you are suffering Vegas Slot Machine Syndrome (VSMS)... the loosest slots in town. If a cooter is so big that the poor guy can't get any friction, it is frustrating. I would suggest that before you submit your bf (and indirectly yourself) to ridicule on this site, you may want to visit a Plastic Surgeon whose specialty is Vaginoplasty. If it is not the size of your bucket, or the size of his Johnson, then he needs to see a counselor about an anger situation. Believe me, if the cause is anger, when he does get pissed off one day at one of your comments... he'll give it to you harder... with a fist in your eye, or the old pubic punch. No charge for the free counseling or surgical advice; I am working pro bono tonight.

punkazzneon 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 8:26

You should let your boyfriend know that it wasn't so much as a request but as verbal encouragement of what he was already doing. @156 - If the guy listens to what the girl is saying, it wouldn't be as frustrating at getting 'no where', since the female is letting you know your on the right track ;)