By jacked - United States Today, I was taking a group shot with my friends when I asked a stranger to take the picture for us. He backed up and told us to squish closer together, and when he was at least 20 feet away, he turned and ran off with my camera. FML I agree, your life sucks 35091 You deserved it 18451 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/7/2020 20:02 Seize the means of production Today, my job has a policy where you can only have two breaks if you work 7 hours or more. I've recently been assigned multiple strings of 6 hour 45 minute shifts. And no, I can't work 15 minutes of overtime so I can have the extra break. FML I agree, your life sucks 1489 You deserved it 164 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By diapermommy - United States Today, my 5-year-old daughter saw a pad commercial. She asked me what they were, but I didn't think she was old enough to hear it. I just told her that they're like diapers for mommies. Now she won't stop telling people that mommy wears diapers. FML I agree, your life sucks 16955 You deserved it 46328 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Morrowindwhore - United Kingdom Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML I agree, your life sucks 25747 You deserved it 67497 277 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I got in my car. When I sat down, I realized a cat had got in the back seat. The cat startled me so I jumped out and slammed the door. Locking myself out. I watched the cat scratch my seats up for an hour. I'm highly allergic to cats. I can't get in my own car without breaking out in hives. FML I agree, your life sucks 71028 You deserved it 7564 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By deflower - United States - Huntington Beach Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML I agree, your life sucks 36600 You deserved it 5013 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went on an interview for a job that I had been wanting for months. I thought everything was going great. On my way out, my interviewer asked me to recycle something for him. I agreed. It was my resume. FML I agree, your life sucks 36248 You deserved it 2280 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hit-and-Run - Mexico - Ju?rez Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML I agree, your life sucks 25892 You deserved it 3153 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By P DarklyKira - 6/5/2020 17:00 Broken bum Today, marks the 29th day since I missed my haemorrhoid surgery. They told me to wait because it's not life threatening and so that I don't get the virus going to the hospital, which I understand. The problem is, even though I take suppositories, it hurts badly and bleed each time I have to take a shit. FML I agree, your life sucks 1651 You deserved it 108 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tweenmom Today, my tween daughter found an exciting new book series to replace her two-year obsession with Harry Potter. Hello, Team Jacob. FML I agree, your life sucks 4643 You deserved it 523 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, my step mom sat me down and told me that she doesn't think that my dad is my biological father because she hasn't gotten pregnant from him. I don't think she quite understands the concept of being a step mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 25079 You deserved it 2234 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML I agree, your life sucks 46736 You deserved it 3070 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML I agree, your life sucks 20495 You deserved it 52646 310 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By omfgmaya - Denmark Today, my boyfriend brought me to his place to meet his parents. When they saw me, they laughed. FML I agree, your life sucks 46212 You deserved it 3912 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Syracuse Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML I agree, your life sucks 52798 You deserved it 8768 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By starley - United States Today, my husband of 3 years, who I have a 1 year old daughter with, told me he wants a divorce, but who knows, maybe in the future we can "date." FML I agree, your life sucks 42823 You deserved it 3426 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RatherOCDthanNasty - Norway - Oslo Today, my mum told me I should see a therapist when she saw me wipe down a remote before using it. My dad has a knack for blowing his nose into his hand and wiping it on his pants, and my mum is the kind to pick up food residue from the drain and eat it - but sure, I'M the one with bad habits. FML I agree, your life sucks 7491 You deserved it 451 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML I agree, your life sucks 49915 You deserved it 6985 349 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Highnapple - Canada - Sarnia Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML I agree, your life sucks 48794 You deserved it 4480 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Shelly - United States Today, I accidentally called my cute boss "babe." I now have to pretend it's what I call everyone, and start calling all my coworkers "babe." FML I agree, your life sucks 15923 You deserved it 33932 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yankeebelle - United States Today, a co-worker superior to me called me "Stephanie" yet again. My name is Ashley. I politely informed her that my name is Ashley and subtely pointed to my work ID. Later, I get called into my supervisor's office. I got written up for correcting someone of higher status that I. FML I agree, your life sucks 65413 You deserved it 3480 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By s Today, I parked in a "Disabled" space. A woman and her kids comes yelling at me about how I don't look disabled and I was just being selfish. I roll my pants up to reveal two prosthetic legs. She then yells at me that I should have warned her before showing my legs since it could scare her kids. FML I agree, your life sucks 14857 You deserved it 643 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Redhead4life - United States - Miami Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML I agree, your life sucks 28791 You deserved it 2858 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuck - United States - Hubert Caught Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 70208 You deserved it 5243 183 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ayeyieyie - United States Hypocrite move Today, my boyfriend of eight happy months suddenly broke up with me via text. He'd always insisted that texts were too impersonal. FML I agree, your life sucks 1487 You deserved it 120 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while browsing YouTube, I looked at the section "Recommended for You." I saw a video titled "How to get a girlfriend." Even YouTube thinks I can't get one. FML I agree, your life sucks 32014 You deserved it 5462 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yup okay - United States Today, my boyfriend admitted that he finds his car more attractive than me. FML I agree, your life sucks 34863 You deserved it 6851 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? - United Kingdom - Exeter Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML I agree, your life sucks 42354 You deserved it 4605 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By StillTooYoung - United States - Louisville Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML I agree, your life sucks 37643 You deserved it 5179 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By IVOaf - United States Today, as I tried to get out of bed, I got my foot tangled in my sheets. I reached out to my dresser to avoid falling flat on my face. I didn't fall, but I did manage to smash my fingers in the drawer while still trapped in the sheets. FML I agree, your life sucks 40482 You deserved it 4843 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By and somehow you have a master's degree Good excuse. Today, my faculty mentor for my senior capstone project wasn't at my presentation for the entire department faculty. I assumed his wife or kids were sick, but that piece of shit told me himself that he was at home watching the new season of Stranger Things. FML I agree, your life sucks 4118 You deserved it 331 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By soldier - United States Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML I agree, your life sucks 43547 You deserved it 10468 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Qwe - United States - North Attleboro Today, I dropped my wallet and it fell into the perfectly sized hole in the storm drain. FML I agree, your life sucks 20534 You deserved it 1571 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By IamTheSalt Today, I got my grades back. They were all 98's and 99's with also a 104 (extra-credit). I got refused from entering an honors club, because it's "impossible to get above a hundred in a math class". I even got investigated for cheating. FML I agree, your life sucks 6006 You deserved it 367 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By awkwardpaul - United Kingdom - Sheffield Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 46731 You deserved it 8166 170 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs and the next seat. FML I agree, your life sucks 1641 You deserved it 185 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By J-Ro - United States Today, my guy, who is a PhD candidate, informed me that it is his goal in life to own every Will Ferrell movie. FML I agree, your life sucks 18438 You deserved it 12292 223 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Pakistan - Lahore Today, I finished a 700-page book for my law exam. It was the wrong book. FML I agree, your life sucks 10534 You deserved it 4585 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By trappedinmyownhome Today, I was having a dinner party. My guests were getting along really well. I mean, really well; it turns out they all went to the same high school. For the next five hours, I hosted a high school reunion for a school I didn't even go to, in my own home. FML I agree, your life sucks 28405 You deserved it 2814 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - United States Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML I agree, your life sucks 28535 You deserved it 1810 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BurnInDemonFire | 30 #7707896 - Friday 12 October 2018 20:09 At least he landed on the 'up' escalator. He can ride it to the top, and fuck up a second time. Send a private message 5 0 Reply
By BurnInDemonFire | 30 #7707896 - Friday 12 October 2018 20:09 At least he landed on the 'up' escalator. He can ride it to the top, and fuck up a second time. Send a private message 5 0 Reply
Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML I agree, your life sucks 635 You deserved it 186 2 Comments
Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so... I agree, your life sucks 1126 You deserved it 173 11 Comments