Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at a party when I noticed a spider the size of a golf ball on the toilet paper roll. I screamed, tripped over my own feet trying to flee, and fell right into the bathtub. Everyone at the party heard. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I woke up to use the restroom, because I had to take a shit. There was basically no toilet paper left. I asked my boyfriend if he could go get some. It was 1 a.m. He said he’d go when the stores were open, then told me to just rinse off in the shower. FML
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 26
That's not a drinking fountain? ****, I've been doing this all wrong.
MauriceWinifred 0
and that's why you buy one of those Japanese toilets.
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Comments (115)
Doortje 30
Just get your boyfriend to bring you some.
RedPillSucks 33
Makes you wonder just how stupid OP is.... Alternatively, she could use the piece that killed the spider. What? It is dead, after all.
stevenmx86 8
Ydi for using so much tp...
rustic 0
ydi for being such a sissy? what's the spider gonna do? Crawl up your butt? obviously that wouldn't have worked since it can't go up with everything else coming down >.>" poor harmless creature >.> -sigh-
RedPillSucks 33
The spider could bite her on the ass. Are those your real eye color?
rustic 0
true true they can bite her there. and lol no I wish, but I edited my eyes only :3
DakotaCat 4
Ydi! I'm scared of lizards and you don't see ME killing them!
Fatman13 0
I'm pretty sure I've never seen you at all...
frostiebeanz 0
1.poor spider, you bitch. live and let live. 2. get in shower spread ur ass apart and wash it 3. what would mcGyver do?
woopa18 0
this is when you man up and brush the dead spiders bits off the toilet paper and use it haha
underpaid011 0
use the dead spider paper, or else wear panties with the mother of all skid marks!
libbye 0
ydi for killing an innocent lil spider. bitch.
docbrown_fml 0
cute kitten
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
umm y didn't use something else besides toliet paper to kill it? XD I mean u know ur in a bathroom use like a soap thingy or a large bath towel
5t3ff1k4h 45
Because she respects what's in her boyfriend's house and doesn't want to wipe her shit on a large, fluffy towel.
hollee 0
you read that wrong.
5t3ff1k4h 45
Indeed I did. Well, I wouldn't want spider's guts all over my towel, and I wouldn't want to put that on my boyfriend's towel either.
catatonicsleep 17
Towels can be washed...
fthku 13
@50 Seeing as OP didn't realise that the toilet paper would run out, it makes more sense to grab some toilet paper rather than use a towel and dirty it. Also some bathrooms are just toilets, no sink or shower ergo no towels. What I don't get is how she didn't realise it would run out, or why she had to use that much toilet paper.
5t3ff1k4h 45
50 - Of course they can be washed. Doesn't mean that changes what I said.
xStarKillerx 4
The spider was obviously waiting for his turn on the toilet.