Sex and Intimacy: Not a Bio major - FML

Not a Bio major

By Anonymous - 27/06/2011 13:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 095

You deserved it 8 134

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Username - 28/03/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 300

You deserved it 5 465

By what the fuck - 07/06/2013 21:20 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 798

You deserved it 9 989

By Anonymous - 11/05/2015 17:08 - Denmark - Randers

Spicy

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 841

You deserved it 6 035

Awww Sweaty, don't worry

By sopheeah - 29/05/2012 07:54 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 528

You deserved it 2 923

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 004

You deserved it 4 096

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 14:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 282

You deserved it 7 332

By Anonymous - 12/01/2014 00:03 - United States - Philadelphia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 109

You deserved it 8 882

By turning red - 27/07/2013 01:14 - United States

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 418

You deserved it 10 295

Strong incel vibes

By anotherdayfml - 04/03/2020 21:00

Today, I told a guy that I was on birth control. He decided that it would be best for us not to continue speaking with each other. I never would've thought taking care of myself would be a deal breaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 878

You deserved it 184

Sounds more like a fetish…

By Jordan - 08/04/2012 10:37 - Australia - Wahroonga

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 413

You deserved it 3 571

Next

Top comments

velvel 7

Monday 27 June 2011 19:01

well, you definitely don't want babies with that one.

knights95 9

Monday 27 June 2011 19:00

Fail

Comments

rawrr61 4

Monday 27 June 2011 20:47

nice job, dumbass

camo97 0

Monday 27 June 2011 20:48

watch out! he is going to be curled up on the couch crying while watching some lifetime network movie. get him a shot steroids, quick!

stephy2lee 2

Monday 27 June 2011 20:48

thats really funny! but no need to break up, just explain to him how it works

Kwejee 1

Monday 27 June 2011 20:55

Don't they say that guys shouldn't touch that stuff let alone take it? o.o

Firebalone 13

Monday 27 June 2011 20:56

That belongs on WTF if only there was a page like that like there is for FML! Dump his ass, he too stupid. Actually I don't think there's a word for how dumb he is!

hailey18 0

Monday 27 June 2011 21:06

totally just made my day!(:

ih82bl8 2

Monday 27 June 2011 21:07

ummmmm.... he's probably gonna grow boobs or get hormonal... haha jk. but Srsly that wud be funny

candys123 0

Monday 27 June 2011 21:07

oh my.. please take extra birth control cause it would be awful for that guy to reproduce!

ih82bl8 2

Monday 27 June 2011 21:10

himaferdite?

OCDC 9

Monday 27 June 2011 22:06

*Hermaphrodite

castrosabeast 7

Monday 27 June 2011 21:13

that shit messes with people

5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Kids Cute Money Birthday Weird Awkward Love Health Abuse Relatable Social Media Scams Education School Parents Anger issues Teenagers Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 767

You deserved it 10 103

Today, I was driving to visit my parents for the first time in two years. After spending about $4000 to make sure my car wouldn't break down on the journey, around the halfway point, the front tire popped and the engine blew out. I'm about 5 states away from both my parents and my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 732

You deserved it 489

The Top

Today, at the age of 16, I'm recovering from hip surgery. My friends took me out to the movies to cheer me up. They thought it would be hilarious to steal my crutches and leave me stranded and alone in the mall, multiple times. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 505

You deserved it 4 073

Today, $1,000 were stolen from a deposit box to which only I and a coworker have access. I was so nervous during my interrogation that the cop said he had no doubt I was the one who stole the money. I had nothing to do with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 876

You deserved it 2 107

Today, I paid 11 dollars to see the new Wolverine movie. I arrived an hour early and waited patiently for the movie to start. 3 minutes before it began, a drunk guy stumbled in and took the last empty seat in the theater... next to me. He talked to me the whole movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 198

You deserved it 8 326

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 868

You deserved it 4 105

Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 131

You deserved it 2 789

Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 104

You deserved it 501