Sex and Intimacy: Not a Bio major

Not a Bio major

By Anonymous - 27/06/2011 13:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 095

You deserved it 8 134

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 28/03/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 300

You deserved it 5 465

By what the fuck - 07/06/2013 21:20 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 798

You deserved it 9 989

By Anonymous - 11/05/2015 17:08 - Denmark - Randers

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 841

You deserved it 6 035

Awww Sweaty, don't worry

By sopheeah - 29/05/2012 07:54 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 528

You deserved it 2 923

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 004

You deserved it 4 096

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 282

You deserved it 7 332

By Anonymous - 12/01/2014 00:03 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 109

You deserved it 8 882

By turning red - 27/07/2013 01:14 - United States

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 418

You deserved it 10 295

Strong incel vibes

By anotherdayfml - 04/03/2020 21:00

Today, I told a guy that I was on birth control. He decided that it would be best for us not to continue speaking with each other. I never would've thought taking care of myself would be a deal breaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 878

You deserved it 184

Sounds more like a fetish…

By Jordan - 08/04/2012 10:37 - Australia - Wahroonga

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 413

You deserved it 3 571

velvel 7

Monday 27 June 2011 19:01

well, you definitely don't want babies with that one.

knights95 9

Monday 27 June 2011 19:00

Fail

Comments

green_eggs_and_h 0

Monday 27 June 2011 19:23

At least he's cautious.

Ugi 26

Monday 27 June 2011 19:23

I can't help thinking that the "two bricks" method of birth control might be appropriate here. For the good of the gene pool.

samicna 4

Monday 27 June 2011 19:27

please notice the red flags and run! you do not want him as a husband!

artnotwar 4

Monday 27 June 2011 19:32

Hahaha well... At least you know he cares...?

trellz17 19

Monday 27 June 2011 19:33

you should take him to the doctors, not for taking the pills but for his extreme stupidity.

BeeMaddness 0

Monday 27 June 2011 19:37

That is the funniest thing ever. Your boyfriend fails at life though

JamieEdwards 0

Monday 27 June 2011 19:40

That's a little odd . never heard that one before . lol

JoHire 0

Monday 27 June 2011 19:40

LMFAO what an idiot! No really he's on the dumb side...

shellzy 20

Monday 27 June 2011 19:52

Well if you're bicurious when his boobs grow out you can give motorboating a shot and see if you like it. Just make him buy his own bras.

starburst7596 14

Monday 27 June 2011 19:52

doubling up on condoms makes holes it doesnt make it slide off. idiot

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The Top

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that mine and her father's wedding is just a big joke, and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 052

You deserved it 3 116

Today, a customer threw a bottle of milk at me because we'd moved our smoke counter 6 months earlier during our renovations. Moved it five metres to the right that is. He marched out of the store, then marched back, grabbed the milk from my hands, threw $5 at me and then left again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 246

You deserved it 589

The Top

Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 150

You deserved it 4 029

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I agree, your life sucks 17 122

You deserved it 21 523

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I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 148

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 556

You deserved it 17 501

Today, my college roommate is a Studio Art major. For a project, she brought home a pig's intestine to keep in our tiny dorm room freezer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 92

Today, at a gynecologist's appointment, I was privileged to have 7 co-ed nursing students stare at my vagina for 25 minutes as part of their training. At one point the doctor apologized for having to "open me up more than usual", but said she wanted everyone to get a good view. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 503

You deserved it 5 380