Today, my friends decided that I eat too many snacks. To emphasize this point, they went behind my back and printed 300 pages with my face and the words "NO SNACKS" on them. They were posted in every academic building on campus, including every room I have class in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I snuck a snack into a library study hall. One tiny crinkle of the wrapper and every head turned like I’d detonated a siren. I tried to nibble silently, misjudged the crunch, dropped the pack, and it performed an encore. The professor glared at me. FML
Today, my so-called friend snitched to the teachers that I was the admin of the school confessions page and I got scolded after school. FML
Today, I was secretly snacking on my roommate’s chips. I heard her coming, so I shoved the chips under my bed and pretended to read. She came in, sniffed the air, and said, "I know you stole my chips. The evidence is on your face." I had orange cheese dust all over my mouth. FML
Today, a "friend" of mine decided stealing my very low amount of sticky notes repetitively to make origami and show off was okay, even though I had repeatedly asked her to stop. Then, when I snapped, I was the bad guy, and everyone who was around started stealing my pencil case to get them. FML
Today, while studying for a big test at the library, some idiots started playing hide-and-seek. After putting up with their snorting and giggling for nearly an hour, I finally lost my shit and told them to knock it off. I then got kicked out for causing a disturbance. FML
Today, my roommates gathered together to tell me that they all took turns spitting in my drinks in the fridge, all because I told on them for smoking pot in the apartment. FML
Today, I was sitting in class when I overheard a group talking about how much they don't like me. When they saw me there, they burst out laughing. FML
Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML
Today, my professor gave me a huge lecture in front of the class about showing up sick, about how I was endangering the lives of other students, and kicked me out of class. As I left, everyone applauded. I'm not sick, but suffering for horrible allergies. FML
Today, I found out my college friends are going to attack me after Christmas and attempt to tickle me to death. All because they know that I hate to be tickled. They are also going to make a Facebook group dedicated to the matter so people can join in if they wish. FML
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Top comments
cococola 0
wow your friends are assholes
SonofVBeach 0
Clearly you snack too much, and you have friends who care...you are a loved gorger.
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Comments (170)
cndrow 0
Sounds like you need new friends. :/ Snacks are, like, everything man. D: I'm 25 and still have a really high metabolism so I snack constantly.. (I know I'll be fat one day when it turns off but until then I enjoy eating all day!). Friends. You need new ones.
vox_temperantia 0
Wait, is this why my campus has "no snacks 4 face" fliers all over the place?
itsmizzb2u 0
I've seen those. I wasn't sure what it was all about...
weirdtimes313 0
i definitely thought someone was trying to be different with election flyers...
Ptvlover 0
Maybe that episode of viva la bam just came on??? XD and how does anyone know that this person is fat? Maybe the friends are just worried about actual health, not weight. High sugar intake and clogged arteries. But this is pretty funny.
lcrabb 0
I've seen those flyers!! GO TRIBE
xoFMLxo 0
ok so your friends arent really friends and they really suck. you don't need them. and what you eat is your business!!
watchnlearn 0
that's kind of sweet of them, in a way. haha #85- that's hilarious. anyway, i'd still be kind of pissed. but at least your friends care? anyway, if you plan on running for whatever, you've already got flyers made
s_a1093 0
most of you are complete assholes! fat or not fat , some people take things like this to the heart! and no don't think i'm fat because i'm defending her/him from all of your extremely rude comments !
lolo527 0
you need new friends!