Intimacy and Sextoys: No kinkshaming here

No kinkshaming here

By Anonymous - 27/04/2021 11:00

Today, my hotel room key wouldn't open my door. Maintenance had to come let me in. My giant dildo was out on the table. I'm a 250-pound man, traveling alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 1 371

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 05:30 - Canada

Today, feeling like I needed to relax, I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished I went to put the tray outside not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room wearing happy face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 312

You deserved it 26 986

By nekkiddrunk - 14/01/2010 02:04 - United States

Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 894

You deserved it 40 583

By FML - 15/07/2009 14:29 - Syrian Arab Republic

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 662

You deserved it 5 300

By RoxahTheGreat - 26/12/2009 01:50 - United States

Today, I was unloading things into a hotel. As I went to get a bag out in the hallway, the room door closed and I had no key. When I knocked and asked my family to let me back in, no one answered. The doors are clearly not soundproof. I could hear them debating whether or not to let me back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 431

You deserved it 4 076

By "Nancy Marlin" - 16/07/2017 13:00

Today, I had to call the hotel we were staying at to recover some items I had left. Those items consist of a cellphone, razor blades, used batteries, and a vibrator. They have nothing to do with each other, but yes, they're at the front desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 655

You deserved it 1 394

Miss you, bed

By LadyGrey - 27/01/2015 11:45

Today, returning home from a party, I realised I'd forgotten my keys. My roommate was sleeping so soundly that after an hour of throwing gravel and ringing the doorbell, I had to give up and get a room at the hotel over the road. For €85 I had a view of my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 039

You deserved it 6 306

By Anonymous - 15/06/2011 13:37 - Denmark

Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 157

You deserved it 3 295

By Notthekeytosuccess - 12/04/2017 00:00

Today, I broke my key unlocking my dorm room. When I pushed the door open in frustration, the door opened with no problem. Turns out it was unlocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 585

You deserved it 1 709

You ain't seen me, right?

By Blueberry - 17/09/2012 02:00 - United States - Iowa City

Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 222

You deserved it 2 417

By phansmootchie - 20/12/2011 08:14 - United States

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 302

You deserved it 37 436

coolrunnings1021 14

Tuesday 27 April 2021 12:29

embarrassing but its nobodies business what you do in private

red6joker 8

Tuesday 27 April 2021 13:54

As a hotel worker. I can tell you that he has seen worse.

Comments

Plop 17

Tuesday 27 April 2021 12:12

Just tell them it's for medical reasons because you're incontinent and need to "seal the exit". That way you'll completely save face!

coolrunnings1021 14

Tuesday 27 April 2021 12:29

embarrassing but its nobodies business what you do in private

red6joker 8

Tuesday 27 April 2021 13:54

As a hotel worker. I can tell you that he has seen worse.

princess_stabitty 20

Tuesday 27 April 2021 15:37

Your huge ***** is at the rear end of the shocking stuff the maintenance guy had seen.

geerod 15

Tuesday 27 April 2021 15:45

Your never alone if you have your *****!

Matt Much 12

Tuesday 27 April 2021 20:24

You get accustomed to it after a couple times. I own one of the dolls and live in an apartment. I'm sure maintenance has seen it and when the police do the door to door "how's the neighborhood" event, they have seen it. Plus, as a mechanic, I can say I wish I only saw ****** in cars. I've seen WAY worse.