Today, my dog ate an entire bag of my boyfriend’s shrooms. She got incredibly sick and had to be admitted to doggie hospital. My entire family was worried that we would lose her. All except my boyfriend, who was more upset that his shrooms were gone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML
Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s dog decided that his stomach needed a month’s supply of contacts more than I did. FML
Today, I got home from working overnight and let the 2 dogs out of their crates. The oldest one (almost 9 years-old) was acting weird. He was shaking and couldn't stand up, let alone sit. I thought something was incredibly wrong. Nope, he just had gotten hold of 10 of my "treats" when my SO wasn't looking. Dude was high all day. FML
Today, my idiot boyfriend, who thinks he's an outdoorsman, made sauce from mushrooms he'd foraged. I refused to eat it. He got upset and had two helpings. He's now in bed, whining about how bad he feels. Stupid dumbass. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, my dog ate my little brother's medication. I spent all morning trying to make him throw it up, but it wasn't working so I took him to the animal hospital, which was in a different city. $150 in poison control and vet bills later, I found the pill we thought he ate stuck under his paw. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. They prepared dinner for us - mushroom pasta. I have always hated mushrooms, so I spent the entire dinner trying not to gag. Unfortunately, I did gag and my mom got up and smacked me so hard I fell out of my chair. FML
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML
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Top comments
smoochmysnoot 6
I hope you meant to type ex-boyfriend, he sounds like a real ****.
Ubehage 32
If he really was so upset to lose his shrooms, then why didn't he keep them away from the dog? FYL. Get a new boyfriend, someone with a brain.
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Comments (5)
smoochmysnoot 6
I hope you meant to type ex-boyfriend, he sounds like a real ****.
Ubehage 32
If he really was so upset to lose his shrooms, then why didn't he keep them away from the dog? FYL. Get a new boyfriend, someone with a brain.
Doom_Kitty 14
how stupid must someone be to let dangerous stuff lying around when there are pets or kids in the house.
Hangryko 32
You mean "ex-boyfriend," right?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I hope you mean EX-boyfriend. Anyone who harms an animal in any way should have the same thing done to them. That includes if they don't care that the animal is sick, in pain, etc., especially when it's their own fault.