Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said, "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?" I said, "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?" She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl who often comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out by writing my number on a dollar bill. She paid and the amount her change happened to be a dollar. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change!" FML
Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML
Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML
Today, I was paying for groceries when the cashier asked if I wanted cash back. I said yes and handed over my card. She stared at me and said, “You're using a library card.” I'd pulled the wrong card out of my wallet. FML
Today, after weeks of eating in the same restaurant, I finally worked up the nerve to ask the super-cute cashier for her phone number. "Aw, how cute. Do you have an older brother?" FML
Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 minutes. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store where this really cute guy works. I swiped my card but the machine wouldn't read it. I swiped it quickly some more before getting frustrated and saying, "Your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card and turned it around. His face said it all. FML
Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML
Today, I felt fairly depressed about being single for the holidays during work. This cute girl came to my register asking about our sales ad. After telling her we had no copies, she asked for my number. I shouted: "Finally, someone wants to go out with me." She wanted the store's number to call. FML
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Top comments
DemonicAngel151 0
FAIL! XD
valuemeal2 1
YDI, and also, this is a horribly worded and awkwardly written "FML".
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Comments (73)
realsiq 0
DENIED
kukopia 0
Flirt fail
bobleheadNS 0
how does it feel to live in the ass of america???
FarSide 23
If you stick the nozzle into New Jersey, the crap comes out in Detroit.
saluda 0
How'd you not know that? Even if you're new, they'd tell you that before they plop you on the register by yourself.
TenebrificTurtle 0
You are probably related to the girl who thought her teacher/student helper was trying to get her phone number not her math problem. Did you giggle?
ROFLDOCTOR 1
Hahahaha. I was thinking the same thing.
WonderxLandx3 0
I had to read this 3x before it made sense to me lol...He should be more clear
perdix 31
You must be a genius, because I'm pretty smart and it took me about 7 times. I was wondering why a guy from New Jersey would use the British term "ringing up" meaning calling on the phone, when it finally dawned on me that he was a cashier. She was talking about her store card number and he was talking about her telephone number. After putting all that effort into understanding this twisted tale, I just don't give a shit. I feel like Ralphie reading "Always drink your Ovaltine!"
fckaduck 0
How is it difficult? I'm honestly not too bright sometimes, and I got it right away.
kuno_thunder 0
It took me a few reads too, but then I realized that he's a cashier, and ringing up items at the cash register is what he meant. Not the English style ringing up while at work, meaning calling her while you're at work. Unless he's NOT a cashier, and is a newly landed citizen from England, and I'm still wrong.
letitbe56 0
Perdix- That is an excellent way of describing how I feel on having figured out what the FML meant. My problem was that I thought he knew what she was talking about and then used a "witty" pick-up line based on pretend confusion. I thought the last line was a punch line that just made no sense. It took me a while to realize that he had thought she was asking him out, not wanting him to look up her account. Figuring out what was really going on was so anticlimactic. "A crummy commercial?!"
blow_chlo 0
it didn't take me numerous amounts of times to read it, i think its pretty straightforward
Luckster 0
Can't you get in trouble for flirting with total strangers on the job anyways? Do your job! YDI for thinking with your dick.
nazooer 11
More stupid than the OP? I dont think that's possible!
TAST3MYRAINB00Wx 0
i am so confused such horrible wording, it makes no sense to me yeah, we have heard this before NEXT
perdix 31
Don't bother. I got to the end of the rainbow and there was a pot alright. It was not full of gold. Don't break any more brain cells figuring this fat turd of an FML out.
racerapj 10
Ohhhhh **** blocked. It must have been awkward fir you.