Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked to my boyfriend's house, which takes literally 2 minutes since we are also neighbours. He wanted sex straight away. The walk took longer than the sex, by over a full minute. FML
Today, after a great double date with my best friend and two really hot guys, we went back to my place. My friend and I left the guys in the living room to go grab some more wine. When we came back, we found our dates making out with each other on the couch. FML
Today, my friend invited me, his girlfriend, and the girl I like over to his house to hang out. We hoped it would get me closer to my crush. The day ended with them having a threesome and me locked out. FML
Today, I went on what I thought was a solo outing with my longtime crush. He decided to invite a friend along. I had to pick her up half an hour away from town, he treated her to the movie we were watching while I had to pay for myself, he fingered her in the theatre, and made out with her on the drive home. FML
Today, my best friend, with whom I have been in love for years, kissed me, hugged me, held my hand, hooked up with me, and told me that he loved me more than anything and wanted to be with me… until he sobered up and his girlfriend got back to town. FML
Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML
Today, my best friend whom I have been in love with for years, called me, proposed, and confessed his love for me. He was at a noisy bar so I asked him to call me back later and we'd discuss it. He called back later, hungover, with no recollection of our conversation whatsoever. FML
Today, I had to help my best friend plan his upcoming date with the girl he doesn't know I'm secretly in love with. FML
Today, my best friend, the man who I've been in love with for nine years, finally told me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Unfortunately, it was while he was using me to practice proposing to his girlfriend. FML
Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML
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Top comments
fish1806 0
what a jerk!!
Doortje 30
I can see why you're in love with him, such a gentleman.
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Comments (349)
wkyle1 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
hahahahhahaha thats freakin hillarious
RomanBeauty 0
and I bet you are a virgin
ballerinaaub 17
^win
howslife123 0
".. I smashed the windows out your car.." take a lesson from this song and find a crowbar ;) FYL OP
Snowstar 0
"I dug my key into the side of his pretty little cooped-up four-wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats. I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed his horn and all four tires..." I apologize if I said anything wrong.
hilariexcore 0
lol 54, I think that's a completely different song...
Perdition 4
It is. Also, 54, it's suped-up. You know, like supercharged, etc.
lottso88 4
Slashed his horn. XD
boobygirl 8
it's I bust the windows out your car
howslife123 0
sorry Boobygirl.. for saying smashed instead of busted??
rockyraccoon28 8
yeah, 14 definitely wasn't quoting carrie underwood. good try though, guys.
captainbj2 0
yea! someone knows the song!
cruforlife 5
Well 269 if you're going to quote a song, at least get it right.
KatrinaKitten 16
So he basically used you? FYL.
abcd4242 0
wow you look like one of my cousins and she's beautiful
KatrinaKitten 16
Thank you.
larisonr 4
What a strange thing to say 72
FLAFeagle 0
nice deductive reasoning! ;p
HussREC 6
*detective
chaleighrae7 4
not basically...he did.
GalaxyShots 21
No, they meant 'deductive'.
dunicha 20
He's an ex-friend now, right? Right?!
volley4eva1698 0
dude ever since that one commenter used that joke I've seen 3 comments like that..it was funny the first time but now it's so ANNOYING
Gabriellax3 6
jerk -_- I'm sorry fo you OP . forget that guy move on to someone worth your time cause it sure isn't him
Monkeyone 0
Ouch.
Sophura 10
I'll admit I laughed but seriously, that guy is an ahole. Some bestfriend he turned out to be.
KiddNYC1O 22
Same. I laughed then sympathized. Kind of like the sour patch candies.
BeatlesObsessed 12
I'm sorry, but did you just say, "best friend"? Are you sure?
Calyx_fml 22
What a dick.
lmaoatall 6
I'm sorry op. this guy is an asshole. round up some girl scouts, about fifty of them, and dump them off In his yard. karma will take care of the rest!
AstroWatermelon 0
Or climb through a window go to his room,sit on the bed and say in a weird creepy voice "hello.Miss me?" Just scare the **** out of him.