Today, I received a friend request from a boyfriend I hadn't talked to in 20+ years. A few minutes later, he messaged me a picture of himself with a young woman at a strip club. My daughter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML
Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML
Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML
Today, I found out the guy whose ass I used to routinely kick in high school is now dating my 19 year-old daughter. FML
Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML
Today, my two year-old opened one of my boyfriend's Snapchat messages. It was from a girl I've never heard of, with whom he has a 700+ day streak and is one of his top friends. The message said, "I wish?" FML
Today, my recent ex-girlfriend posted a photo of herself on Facebook. It was a picture of herself in the arms of a half-naked male stripper. She posted it on my wall. FML
Today, my mother got a call from our old high school saying that they had fifteen freshmen boys in his office with a nude photo of me on their phones. I had sent that photo only to my boyfriend. Apparently he loves to share me. FML
Today, a friend showed me my husband's online dating profile, which includes photos of him with our kids. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML
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Top comments
EsotericAura 25
So is he dating your daughter; is she a stripper there; or did he just happen to run into her there?
One_In_Three 24
Time to get a shotgun!
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Comments (69)
Lizzy500 16
There must be a strong family resemblance.
SirPugurt 9
You mean ex, right?
Mynxie 26
I am assuming so since they haven't spoken in 20 plus years.
pandaxpress 19
Maybe they have communication issues. I mean, it's only been 20 years since they spoke or had anything to do with each other.
Lalala579121 28
Nope, not talking or seeing each other for 20 years seems like a normal, healthy relationship to me.
StarkWolf_fml 23
at this point, a shotgun is required. The **** is wrong with people?
Zanquis 22
Most likely based on limited info: Guy gone to a stripclub and run into a adult daughter of his ex GF of 20+years aGo. Lets just assume the least sleezy option, he meets her there, they talk and during talk he realizes her mom is his ex GF, gets contact info from the daughter and contacts his ex GF. Then you feel the need to get a shotgun?? Well that is what is wrong with the world people wanting to shoot people without knowing enough or no good reason.
feldire 14
Time to tell your daughter that she shouldn't. Be a striper anymore unless she wants him to be coming to her often.
fyvaprold 11
Now she can call him mofo
lanabk 12
What exactly does mofo means?
Ni_knight_mp 5
Mother f**ker
panda900 9
Don't know what's worse. Him rubbing it in your face that after 20 years (absolutely nothing better to initially bring up to start conversation - "how's work" would've been better) Or that from the way you wrote this it's hard to tell if you even knew your daughter is stripping
Snufkinn 16
Not cool adding you just to share that picture.
Tyrax 16
Was this a "Hahaha, revenge!" message, or was this a "Um, look who I found." type thing? The former would be a bit of a dick move, but the second one could be sweet - letting you know he's concerned for your daughter and checking to be sure you're aware of her occupation. And depending on the ages, it could be a comparison to see if she looks like him.
species4872 20
Picture caption? " surprise I found my daughter that I've never met"
Eatsleep 3
I don't think you deserved that