Today, a guy for whom I did a design job told me he would only be able to pay me in 3 weeks. I told him that it was OK, as long as I didn't have to follow him around to collect my money. "Don't worry, I know the feeling," he said, "I used to run an illegal business." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to pick up my last paycheck, since I was fired last week. My boss said he wasn't going to give it to me. I told him it's illegal not to, and he told me with a shit-eating grin, "What are you gonna do? Arrest me?" FML
Today, I'm working in China and I had to explain to my boss that no, it's not okay to not pay me for 3 months. FML
Today, my boss told me I was fired 3 weeks ago because there's no money to pay me, meaning that I worked the last three weeks for free. FML
Today, after I've been cleaning a hostel 7/7 for free accommodation for a few weeks, and the owner telling me 3 times to take a day off while he was able to do the job, I'm finally leaving. He's now (and only now) asking me to pay for the 3 nights I "didn't work for." FML
Today, after days of working with a client on plans for a project, I received a message halfway through completion, saying the deal was off because my prices were "so low, it seems like a scam." FML
Today, I found out that the landscaping job I started three weeks ago is actually for an illicit business run by a hippie who pissed away the entire payroll to fund his drug habit. He has no way of coughing up the $900 he owes me. I'm broke as hell, and my electricity is now going to get cut off. FML
Today, I asked a co-worker if he'd cover for me while I slipped out to cash some money at the bank. When I got back, I found out that when he said "yeah, sure" he actually meant "yeah, sure, I'll tell the boss and get your dumb arse suspended". FML
Today, I finally finished a drawing that someone had asked and said they would pay me for. I worked on it for multiple hours and was very proud of it. When it came to discussing payment, I asked what his best offer was. A pack of cigarettes. FML
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, I was selling weed to a guy by text. He was using our code, saying, "Can I book a tutoring session at 6 o'clock?" I asked, "How many hours do you need?" He replied, "Three please." I said, "Sure." Then he said, "Just leave it in the blue Adidas again." FML
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Top comments
ComoEsJuan 24
The mans word is his word, and he said "used" to. Two strong reasons to build a trusting partnership.
themysteriousfox 18
I don't know if I'd trust that "in three weeks" crap...
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Comments (61)
themysteriousfox 18
I don't know if I'd trust that "in three weeks" crap...
fmljosh1015 20
He used to run an illegal business, not he does now....
johncage 14
His past is a moot point; when someone offers to pay for something nearly a month late it doesn't inspire a whole lot of trust with me.
jtfrisch 22
Was this business illegal because he didn't pay taxes or because he sold or did illegal things? He could have been a hired assassin. Anyways, **** no do not let him pay you in three weeks, go get some documentation proving you did work and make his ass sign it if he's gonna be a piece of shit and order a service he can't afford
pjsr 33
Break a leg!
Adam_Power58 16
Probably wasn't the best idea to do the job before organising payment unless you knew him well in this case doesn't seem so , hopefully you get your money OP
MidnaLink 35
When I took Graphic Design (gave up months later btw), there was a small saying that we learned; "**** you, pay me". Learn it well, Grasshopper.
cheeeksss 29
Did you learn that from Childish Gambino?
MidnaLink 35
No, this was an actual lesson we learned in a college class, not some rapper.
S_Gnu 17
A formerly illegal business in Colorado? Not too hard to guess what it was; in fact I'm sure the answer was highly blunt.
ThrottleJockey 36
He comes highly recommended as a budding entrepreneur.
Xandrick 22
He probably had the hottest joint in the area to go to.
frrrrr 13
At least he will still pay right ?
tiger820 20
you aren't going to ever get that money!
takeittoem 8
If by "in three weeks," you mean "three weeks after he originally said he'd pay," good luck ever getting that money...
stayunlit 4
I don't see why his former business being illegal should make him any less credible? If he didn't mention his illegal business this probably wouldn't even have been an FML. I hate this notion of everyone involved in illegal matters (aside from the obvious few) are automatically mean and untrustworthy. You're always going to have dodgy, terrible people in any business/area, legal or not, but those people shouldn't represent an entire group. In my time, I've met more decent, trustworthy human beings who have gotten mixed up in the law than I have dodgy people. Sounds like this guy was just trying to be honest in an attempt to show you that he understands and relates to your situation. Way to judge a book by it's cover tbh
oobergoober89 16
"used to"