Work: Nan's gotta have it

Nan's gotta have it

By Anonymous - 12/06/2009 07:53 - Canada

Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says, "I've been a dirty, dirty girl" in a seductive tone. I thought she meant about the table so I said, "Yes you have!" She then winked at me. I walked away fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 806

You deserved it 9 625

Work

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Same thing different taste

By grannysmack - 11/07/2009 09:10 - United States

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 854

You deserved it 6 555

By Job Seeking - 22/01/2013 11:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 126

You deserved it 3 001

By creepedouthostess - 17/06/2009 07:12 - United States

Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 445

You deserved it 3 120

Crucial information

By no one - 02/06/2020 14:00

Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 122

By Imaman - 28/05/2011 04:09 - United States

Today, I was working at a retirement center, when an old woman came to me and asked if I would like her old clothes. I politely said, "I'm sorry, but I'm a guy." She then said, "You could have just said no, instead of rudely lying to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 831

You deserved it 4 494

Checked out

By Anonymous - 21/09/2019 16:01

Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 398

You deserved it 166

Thanks, I guess…

By unsatisfied - 09/03/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 359

You deserved it 4 432

Dirty talk

By awkward - 22/02/2014 05:39 - United States

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 588

You deserved it 10 460

By noantiquesforme - 30/03/2015 18:39 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 732

You deserved it 2 723

Thanks a bunch

By nose hurts - 30/12/2012 01:01 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 628

You deserved it 3 475

grocky 0

Friday 12 June 2009 16:02

That's revolting.

Jimboom 11

Friday 12 June 2009 16:06

You knew exactly what she meant and you liked it!! ;)

Comments

grocky 0

Friday 12 June 2009 16:02

That's revolting.

vollyball921 0

Wednesday 14 April 2010 6:17

agreed thts BEYOND gross lol

Lolerskatez 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 12:19

You should take what you can get if that's you're life cause you ain't goin much further xD

xxmollyxx 25

Friday 12 June 2009 16:03

Haha well old people need loving too.

NomOnShroomz 14

Saturday 20 August 2011 15:56

But they gotta pay.

Jimboom 11

Friday 12 June 2009 16:06

You knew exactly what she meant and you liked it!! ;)

emmah_15 0

Monday 2 November 2009 15:09

LOL PROBABLY .

paigeharper 0

Friday 12 June 2009 16:08

why would that even matter..ok so she winked and walked away? big deal!

Sgt_Minty 0

Saturday 27 August 2011 5:53

Op walked away after she winked...

XAMezaki 0

Friday 12 June 2009 16:09

Maybe she mistaked you for someone else? My friend's grandmother sometimes mistakes him for his father.

BlackCloudedSldr 5

Thursday 19 January 2012 5:56

Mistook* or has mistaken* come on generation. We're already in the "dumb shit" hole.

thatguynamedsky 32

Sunday 17 May 2015 22:09

grammer is erverrated

tranman978 0

Friday 12 June 2009 16:10

HEADLINE Old woman rapes boy

inface2b 0

Friday 12 June 2009 16:11

Its just creepy that some. Old lady would be like that, i'd have walked away too

Rebii 0

Friday 12 June 2009 16:13

Eww, old people.

texMan_fml 0

Friday 12 June 2009 16:13

Test

a_z0_9_fml 0

Friday 12 June 2009 16:15

hahaha that sounds like the old people at the place i used to work at.

Keywords

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Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8-hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I'm now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 992

You deserved it 3 569

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 974

You deserved it 7 465

The Top

Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his or his mom's name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we'd found her she told me, "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 817

You deserved it 2 808

Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix than how my government is run. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 482

You deserved it 40 639

Today, I learned that Guru Tugginmypudha was right, two elephants humping is the ultimate distraction, as in, when two elephants started humping during my kids' trip to the zoo, a mad crowd of idiots rushed to watch, and somewhere in the middle of it all I clearly felt a pickpocket steal my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 138

Today, a number of people came to visit me in the hospital, including my grandparents. They called me "weak" and "a cowardly millennial" for going to the ER instead of sucking it up, and blamed me for rising healthcare costs. I had a compound fracture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 257

You deserved it 277

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 450

You deserved it 3 788

Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 709

You deserved it 4 684