By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out my 19 year-old daughter is pregnant. The father is a toss up between my 45 year-old best friend, and the 30 year-old guy who cleans our pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks 65 350
You deserved it 8 010

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if he's 45 and screwing your 19-yr-old daughter, then he's not your best friend. the pool guy, eh, at least he's not over twice her age. But still, she sounds like she gets around. at least she's not underage, though. when i worked at a hospital in NC in the medical records department, i can't tell you how many birth certificates i saw for underage moms. one was 12 years old. just be glad she's 19 and not 12. as for your "best friend", if it is his, make sure that SOB is there for his child.

I hope it's the 30year old guy. seriously.


ew. that's gross.

cool story, bro

Riveting tale, chap!

if I had a gun with 2 bullets in it in a room with hitler, bin laden, and Toby I would shoot Toby twice.

I'd kill which ever one it was

from Roots? that's racist

pray that it's the pool guy

Heck that isn't gross, what's gross is the fact that you are either best friends with a perv, or you pay someone to come make waves in the pool... with your daughter. lolwat? Yah, I suppose it is gross.

megatron is not pleased #16

ydi for raising a slut

man do you blame the 45 year old or the pool guy? she's 19! ready to go. my props to them both

whoever it is it's a slap on ur face

Oh gross! Your daughter is a fucking whore, however this is NOT an FML for you. More like Fyourdaughter'sLife because when she turns 40 and is reflecting on her life, she'll realize that because she fucked so many people, her hoo ha! now looks like a piece of viciously chewed bubblegum. And also Fthekid'sLife for having a mom comparable to that of Kat Stacks (shudders) Good Luck OP!

#1 is the father. It's gonna be a cute little Asian baby. :D OP: I agree with the YDI for raising a slut sentiment. She's old enough to make her own choices, but I gotta think you did something along the way to make her the way she is. >_>

wait, did she tell you it was a toss up between the two?! or did you know already know your 45 year old best friend+the pool guy have been banging your daughter?! or did you just happen to say "my daughter is pregnant" in front of them, and then they both looked at you surprised/ashamed/ecstatic?!

I needa quit being lied to. my iPod thinks ok to switch the first comment from mine to yours. :/

PS 33, I think her hoo ha would be comparable to that of an arby's roast beef sandwich. or a vertical bacon sandwich. or some sort of sandwich!!

Arby's roast beef sandwiches have female genitalia? I learned something. :D (I'm only being nitpicky about your post because it's funny to read it this way)

mine too, but it keeps changing D:

I'm impressed, I got 20 bucks on the old guy.

Tell her to go on Maury

what a slut, so nasty

Time go get the hacksaw and invite your friend and the pool guy to dinner..

it's a toss up between my best friend, the pool guy, the mailman, the 80 yr old down the street....

Doesn't she have better options? It's sick that your best friend would sleep with your daughter.

lmaooo @33 Kat Stacks smh

wait, I'm the father? because you couldn't have meant the other possible #1, hes just a nipple. but I'm not Asian. I dunno what's happeneing here, intoxicunt. this brings to mind a certain song: I am not a whore. (but I like to do it.)

man.... where do i find girls like her!?

#33: Wow - a little harsh, aren't you? The girl is 19, and old enough to be making her own decisions - including who she sleeps with. Having had 2 sexual partners doesn't make her a slut or a ho.

#105 - It does. Technically it double does because slut and hoe are synonymous unless you are talking about the farm implement. So she is both. Welcome to the Aperture Science Hoe chamber. Pool boys here. Old friends here. Old Men here. Pools here.

you've obviously done a great job of raising her

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

I say FYL for having a non-protection using whore for a daughter

100 - how do you know she's not ugly? 

hope he is going to be a good looking kid :P he might clean the pool him self :P

hahaha #77 FTW


You wouldn't be saying that if she was a he.

#24 made my day xDDDDDD

meep wattahoe. but how can you be so sure that is only those 2 people?

Kill them both... just to be safe


but having to sexual partners who are twice her age does.

#105, how is that not a whorish? I can't enumerate the number of things that are wrong with what she did, but I'll say a few : 1. both are far too old for her, those kind of relationships aren't healthy, it's true she's 19 which is considered an adult in most of the world, but anyone that remembers what it was like at 19 knows you're not really that much of an adult yet psychologically. 2. sleeping with 2 guys at approx the same time(otherwise it wouldn't be a toss up) is kind of slutish. 3. sleeping with your fathers best friend is a very dick move, sleeping with the pool man that your father is paying isn't exactly much lower on the dick move scale either. 4. remaining pregnant is dumb too, if you're gonna screw your fathers best friend and the pool man, at least take every precaution you can.

Did you sleep with too many men? Did you not put a wrapper on that lollipop? Did you get pregnant abd now don't know who yo baby daddy is? GO TO THE MAURY SHOW! NOW. Call 1-800-ima-slut Find out who yo baby daddy is, now!

16- is that u haha?!

is there a three sided coin? the mom forgot to include me in the toss up

protect your Wang before you bang; don't be silly protect your willy

16- dude kill them both o.O

seriously, the OP probably lives in some ghetto apartment complex, that's why her daughter is even pregant at that age in the first place. the "pool boy" is probably some sick rapist maintenence man, and if your daughter wants to bang older men, it's who and how she was brought up that makes her do so.

YDI for raising a slut? Usually caused by bad parenting, and neglecting your child.

105-The fact that she was sleeping with her dad's friend and the pool guy at about the same time makes her slutty. [:

that's some fucked up shit :O!

o well, maybe one day soon she will "trip" and fall down the stairs... just saying...

ur daughter is a whore

Hey! You gotta teach that bitch some respect for her family!

Never got around to "the talk" eh?

@ The_good_times: There needs to be more information to determine if the OP's daughter is a whore. Assuming she is, there are still several things wrong with your argument. Problem with 1st statement: Considering both these men are significantly older than her and as you stated she may not be psychologically ready to make adult decisions it's less of her being a whore and has more to do with them taking advantage of her. Thus the 2 men are actually the ones who should be looked down on. Of course, all this is assuming she really isn't psychologically ready to make adult decisions and they knowingly took advantage of that. The only problem with your 2nd statement is that we don't know the exact circumstances to make a judgment. Problem with 3rd statement: A 45 year old fucking his best friend's daughter would be a dick move. A 19 year old fucking an older man is naivety. Far as the pool guy goes, it's unethical to fuck somebody when you're supposed to be working regardless of who it is. There's nothing unethical about sleeping with your parent's employee assuming it's consensual. I.E. you aren't threatening to have them fired if they don't. Problem with 4th statement: It doesn't make sense. You said remaining pregnant is wrong (which I took to mean she should get an abortion) then started talking about how she should take every precaution possible. Abortion is not a precaution it's what some women do after not taking proper precautions.

110 is just sheer win. no more needs to be said

Probably a little of both.

kill the Mexican pool guy haha

155- Seriously?? Someone like you only makes fun others so you can feel better about yourself. You must be a total loser. FYL

Like that's any better XD

GavinRoskamp - that was funny! lol sorry but it was..


Why are you friends with a pedophile?

WTF 16s pic is a fml in itself

I'd just like to say, my mom had a baby at 19 but she married the guy, and he was only a year older than her.

haha win win...but then wouldnt the kid be lole a bastad?

sorry you probably suck at talking to your daughter

I sort of agree. This looks like a deep-rooted daddy issue. Both possibilities are quite old, and one is old enough to be her father. Go on Maury. Please. The white trash need to know they live among people with pools as well.

maybe it's an above ground pool 

^^^^ Hahahahahaha. And from the FML.. There's a shallow pool involved here.

Haha, shallow pool. Nice one.

The daughter is in search of a father figure. either that or she's a slut.

at least she's not a minor, so you don't have to help her take care of it. getting pregnant was her own fault.

Also, disgusting*.

I hope it's the 30year old guy. seriously.

Maybe it's both! She could be having twins!

wow that sucks!!u should kick her just saying!

she must be pretty smokin'! pics or it didn't happen muahahaha. just kidding!

which one would you rather have the father be? decide...then go from there biologicalness don't matter money matter


lol WTF r u tryin to say bro? and biologicalaness is not a word lol