Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they bring out the cake, and the birthday girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing, I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight." The guy next to me was her dad. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML
Today, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. On my cake stood last year's "21" candle, to which had been added a single candle. Clearly, times are tough. FML
Today, I ordered a beer with my parents at dinner. The waitress said, "Oh, happy 22nd birthday." My parents eyes got really big, and they started to blush. They'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, my fiancé, his mother, my father and I went out to celebrate my birthday and our recent engagement. After dinner, my father and future mother-in-law revealed to us that they had secretly been dating and were talking about also getting married. Anybody want cake? FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's mom's surprise birthday party. I was sent to pick up the very expensive cake and dozens of balloons. Not only was it windy and the balloons flew away, I tripped and dropped the cake. In the driveway in front of all their family and friends. FML
Today, after I asked a girl out on her birthday and she said yes, I went to her place early in the next morning to give her her favorite bagels. I went to her room to surprise her after her roommate let me in, only to see her blowing some dude's candle, if you know what I mean. I don't thing I'll be taking her out. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. While they were singing Happy Birthday to me, my mother called me by my brother's name. When I blew out the candles a moment later, I joked, "I wish my mother could remember which son I am." Before we had even started eating the cake, she called me by my father's name. FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her 24th birthday. She got up from the couch as I entered, and I shouted, "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glanced over from the couch and greeted me. FML
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Top comments
my_fml_account 2
did he return with a knowing look?
Capnstinkfoot 0
YDI for being a dumbass, BUT, if she did blow you then take a pic, mail it 2 him w/a note that says " told ya"
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Comments (167)
bullshit123 0
Your a bitch and whywould she blow some1 at her own party?
nazooer 11
Wow your dumb
treesdevin 0
fuckk that... he's beyond dumb ... I say more of a moron
MrNewOrleans 0
u my friend are slow sense its her 21st birthday she will get a breath test bcuz she can legally drink and she will get drunk haha jk we were talkin bout dick
baysidebird88 0
haha. wow good times. it's funny! but its her bday she isn't the one doing the work that night, maybe if she gets shitfaced enough
rinnychan 2
You didn't think there was anything weird about the one dude older than everybody else?
franscki 0
Whew! That sucks
manunited93 0
you copied that from another FML you stupid shit YDI
BaldOuting 0
haha YDI. when you talk shit about the birthday be sure you know who you are talking shit to.
Ilovelife07 0
#12, cuz maybe she kicks ass?
whoredior 0
I hope he kicked your ass. You should talk about women with respect.
youngboss_fml 2
thats why your name is *****?
mtacker 3
hahaha win
littlemisslee 0
Well. Is it true she's a ****? She must be if you feel comfortable to say it at her birthday.
PhasesPhantom 22
That's the stupidest logic.
joseline94 0
wow, i feel really stupid now. i read the story wrong, and i thought it was the father who said it. haha!