Love: Make your mind up - FML

Make your mind up

By FML! - 07/08/2011 00:27 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 769

You deserved it 6 598

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Same thing different taste

Oooooh yeah

By omgwtf - 01/06/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, I found out my girlfriend had changed my ringtone to some woman moaning with pleasure continuously. I found this out in the middle of a job interview when she rang me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 592

Am I the asshole?

By Anon - 22/05/2023 22:00

Today, I fucked up when I answered a phone call. I wasn't sure who the number was at first, and it turned out to be my ex girlfriend who had apparently been stalking me. She asked me how my new girlfriend was, and as I answered it in front of my girlfriend, she's now depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 242

By skmusic - 09/04/2009 05:04 - Canada

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 311

You deserved it 75 174

I'll just hang out I guess

By jailbirdlove - 11/10/2010 01:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 901

You deserved it 4 326

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 690

You deserved it 4 174

By hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 784

You deserved it 2 897

Overbearing parents are the worst

By SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Spicy

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 1 798

What do you want from me?

By Anonymous - 16/09/2023 22:00

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 162

By lovegotmehung - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the phone with my girlfriend. Just as she said "I love you", the credit on my phone runs out. She now thinks that I've purposely hung up on her. She refuses to speak to me until I tell her the real reason I hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 941

You deserved it 3 905

By Alex - 31/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 763

You deserved it 89 139

Next

Top comments

kleider1 9

Sunday 7 August 2011 9:07

Dude. I think she has trust issues

ChickenInMyKitch 4

Sunday 7 August 2011 9:10

You gotta wait for that second ring brah

Comments

MegNGreg 0

Friday 19 August 2011 1:34

Well sumones got issues...

nuch93 3

Sunday 21 August 2011 2:19

Psycho

McSabbie 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 2:32

Crazy bitch. Why are you dating her?

W33ZY 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:57

I wonder what the 2nd ring means!!? :D

beezleboss2010 3

Wednesday 31 August 2011 23:38

Thas called a crazy bitch!

Derovin 4

Saturday 3 September 2011 3:39

try answering after two rings only then. i guess thats the normal thing for her.

thejake1997 0

Monday 5 September 2011 5:13

shes a keeper

BrianaRaquel 0

Thursday 8 September 2011 4:30

I hope you dumped this crazy girl! that's completely ridiculous.

Snookie85 19

Sunday 18 September 2011 21:46

Girlfriend needs to get a grip on her jealousy!

jackthehoseless 2

Saturday 24 September 2011 7:19

For your own sake, try to be with someone 'sane' next time.

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The Top

Today, I saved a young girl from drowning in a hotel pool with no lifeguards on duty. The girl's mother was too busy on her phone to notice what was happening, and when I called out to her, she started yelling at her daughter for going in too far. Never bothered to thank me for saving her kid either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 142

You deserved it 168

Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 880

You deserved it 5 469

Today, I announced to my boyfriend of 5 years that I was pregnant. He gave me an ultimatum. Either I "get rid of it" because he’s "not ready to be a dad" or he’ll "put me out on the streets." I’m unemployed and have nowhere to go if I keep it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 412

Today, I got a call from the ICU. Apparently, my boyfriend has been there for 3 days and I'm the only person who didn't know. Even my parents have been to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 185

You deserved it 5 391

Today, I realized that it's not just the dog who's cockblocking me and not letting me get close. My girlfriend, whom I live with, rejects practically every advance. Of course, during her shark week, at least I get an excuse. I average once a month if I'm lucky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 415

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 698

You deserved it 4 532