Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some kid decided to pee in the kids' play area at work. Because I was the shortest employee working at the time, I got to climb through the area to mop it up, while all the kids pointed and laughed at me. FML
Today, I, a grown man in his 30’s, fell asleep and pissed myself like a 2 year-old at bedtime. I was at work on my dinner break and had taken a nap on the break room sofa, which is now soaked in my pee, and I have no change of clothes. Twenty coworkers and 5 senior management all know it was me. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I was at work, and was told to clean up the urine that a child had left down the slide inside the play place. While in the slide, another little kid peed on my head. FML
Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML
Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticed her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushed the payment process up and handed her the receipt. The little boy said "Mommy" and the mom looked down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walked out. The boy had pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML
Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML
Today, I watched an old man pee himself while he was talking to me at work. I didn't do anything or say something, solely because he didn't get any on the floor. FML
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Top comments
justspin 7
That's awful. I wish parents would make their kids behave. She could had offered to clean up the little ***** mess. I'm sorry you had to deal what that. People just don't care anymore. It's sad. They expect people to clean up after them.
bitch_pleez 10
Wow that's great parenting on her part... The worst part is the kid will grow up thinking that type of thing is acceptable, and that could possibly transfer to their kids. Sorry OP and good luck on getting your masters and a better job!
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Comments (122)
perdix 31
If it's a Master's in Piss-Cleaning, this could be your thesis! I hope you are awarded a degree AND a spine to put bitches like that in their place.
jaredofmo 22
These kids make me worry about the future. There's the occasional kid who brings hope, but if history is anything to go by, the good kids never seem to get the influential positions.
1crabbygirl 10
I say the same thing while reading these posts! I worry about these kids... imagining that life owes them something for their student loan debt.
justspin 7
Go to comment six and read comment nine which is a response to it. It answers this pretty well.
Happy_FairyTail 10
But if you think about it, it's the parents fault.
onealmxwilson 18
Well that's a piss-poor excuse for a job. No pun intended. Okay, yeah it was intended.
whyusofat 17
And that is how you know you're at walmart.
joenuuuuu 0
You shoulda like smacked the mom
Fmlsea 28
that would be a great idea.... not , cause then he would no job and an assault charge .
perdix 31
Congrats on pursuing an advanced degree! I'm guessing your undergrad degree was a BS. A big, steaming BS.
onealmxwilson 18
Damn Perdix, I have no idea why you're comments are getting thumbed down lately. I've always found you to be funny. I guess people just don't respect the funniest commenters of FML like they used to...
mhopper 13
I hope when you're old and in a nursing home, the same kid is the one cleaning your ass :)
Fmlsea 28
if you have all those qualifications why are you wasting it on a shit ass job? their must be something ,anything better then that job .
heyyhowsitgoing 9
Sadly it's so much harder to find a job these days
Shadomasta 5
Because he doesn't have the masters yet. Therefore, according to corporate america, he isn't qualified to do much else. But when he is, he'll still be art walmart because he won't be able to find a job that will be able to pay for those loan payments that will inevitably find him when he graduates. Yay america!!
bengermin 5
I'm in the same boat as OP. I got my master's last month, and am still looking for gainful employment. (and a kid pissed on the floor of my drugstore last week)
pbonham 22
THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!! There's no use just complaining!!!
unknown_user5566 27
If you don't want to hear people complain, then get the **** off FML. That is all. :)
unknown_user5566 27
Here's what you need to do: 1) Find out where that ever-so-lovely mother works. 2) Walk into her workplace and drop your pants. 3) Piss on the floor (make sure you get her shoes, too). 4) Say: "Yep, that just happened, bitch." 5) Pull up your pants and leave with a smile on your face. Problem solved! ;)
LaughinStock 16
Oh and Op make sure you have some money to spare, because with her idea you will get arrested. :)
zachherbert 10
Aaand, Mr. Joke Kill makes his appearance.