Today, I threw a paper ball into a recycling bin backwards. I don't know what's more sad: the fact that that was my highlight of my life, or I had been attempting to make that shot every day for three years. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my co-workers were laughing at me because I couldn't throw paper into the bin, regardless of how close I was. Annoyed, I tried to prove then wrong by angry throwing paper into the bin that was no less that 1 cm away from me. I missed. FML
Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML
Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had been clearly marked to be recycled, into a garbage can as an act of defiance. Minutes later, I guiltily retreated and spent the next few minutes with my entire arm stuck up the stinking ass of a city garbage can. FML
Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile, and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML
Today, one of my co-workers threw a piece of garbage at the waste bin beside me. When it missed, he said, "Aw, I missed the garbage... and the bin beside it." FML
Today, I tried to throw a basketball in my backyard basketball hoop. It bounced off the board, hit me on the head, then hit a spray can, activating it and spraying black paint all over my Golden Retriever, to finally land in my trash can. FML
Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML
Today, I was selected to throw the ceremonial first pitch at a baseball game. I practiced every evening for two weeks. In front of hundreds of people, I got so nervous that I let go of the ball behind me instead of towards homeplate. The mascot had to retrieve it. FML
Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML
Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML
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Top comments
Hacksaw 4
You should have yelled out "SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!" after you got it in.
giganticbrain 0
Good for you man. Not many people can do that.
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Comments (78)
jw90 18
Good job man. Now are you ready to get of your ass and try the real thing.
teiso_fml 0
Congratulations.
GiantOctopusRulz 2
Now it's time to move on to the "over the shoulder bank shot". Good luck to you my friend. We'll be here waiting to see how it plays out. BTW, just reading this adds a little joy to my day.
misspeg 0
pffft what a shxt fml. who the heck moderated this one?
perdix 31
Answer: That it is the highlight of your life. You've never kissed a girl? I'd think if you had then that would outrank your wastepaper basketball shot. Unless she had meth mouth, bleeding gums and halitosis, probably not rare in Georgia. I hope that one day you get laid and you gain a little perspective on the importance of your athletic feat.
Thhe 0
bonus points for determination. i was so happy the first (and only) time I threw a tea bag into a mug from the other side of the room. the aerodynamics of those things are terrible...
Wet_Dream 0
same about you!
1sharpchica 0
I guess this would be a case of "if at first you don't succeed try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, and try again....for three years." Congrats I guess.
blastvortex 4
(3) At least you made it. (2) If you want more out of life, then go out and get it. (1) If you don't know how to use colons, then don't bother using them.
electroboy_fml 0
(GO!) Seriously, numbers go up, not down. Anyway, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. That is an awesome achievement.
Armin_fml 0
If THAT's the highlight you probably don't know how to walk either, as that'd be a bigger highlight. Or pee on a potty. :|