Miscellaneous: Life goals

Life goals

By efmylife - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I threw a paper ball into a recycling bin backwards. I don't know what's more sad: the fact that that was my highlight of my life, or I had been attempting to make that shot every day for three years. FML

agreeclassic 32 240

vote type 1 7 310

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Similar FMLs

By SwoopingEagle - 09/06/2017 20:00

Today, my co-workers were laughing at me because I couldn't throw paper into the bin, regardless of how close I was. Annoyed, I tried to prove then wrong by angry throwing paper into the bin that was no less that 1 cm away from me. I missed. FML

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By Sailorjoe - 25/08/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 03:58 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had been clearly marked to be recycled, into a garbage can as an act of defiance. Minutes later, I guiltily retreated and spent the next few minutes with my entire arm stuck up the stinking ass of a city garbage can. FML

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By shark - 27/11/2012 03:03 - United States - Houston

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile, and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

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By ManagerWithoutRespect - 05/12/2016 05:14 - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, one of my co-workers threw a piece of garbage at the waste bin beside me. When it missed, he said, "Aw, I missed the garbage... and the bin beside it." FML

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The shot of a lifetime

By Epic Fail - 10/10/2022 08:30 - United States - Steele

Today, I tried to throw a basketball in my backyard basketball hoop. It bounced off the board, hit me on the head, then hit a spray can, activating it and spraying black paint all over my Golden Retriever, to finally land in my trash can. FML

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Use your socks

By Anonymous - 14/03/2021 05:01 - Norway

Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML

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By akieferr - 03/09/2014 02:41 - United States

Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML

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By bobuhbeartoe - 24/08/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML

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By stupidity - 25/05/2012 19:30 - Switzerland - Geneva

Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML

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Hacksaw 4

Friday 23 October 2009 12:08

You should have yelled out "SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!" after you got it in.

giganticbrain 0

Friday 23 October 2009 12:09

Good for you man. Not many people can do that.

Comments

emivv 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 0:22

why's this an fml? This sounds like a good highlight of your day. not sad

hazardharry 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 0:38

Highlight of your life? Really? YDI.

lifeislife_fml 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 1:36

WHOA. I was thinking this exact thing, word for word, and then I saw your comment. So here it is again: Highlight of your life? Really? YDI.

thewhiterabbit11 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 2:00

Now that u made the shot, what u gunna do now? (says my mum)

invisiblerabbit 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 2:52

ask a stat major, s/he will be better qualified to answer this question.. but every day for 3 years man, that's quite bad

StoryofmyLife10 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 4:14

to me that's an epic win ;)

DameGreyWulf 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 4:26

You need a hobby. Or a girlfriend Or a boyfriend Or both Your choice

SookMauNoots 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 4:33

ude probly make that shot in less then everyday for 3 years

shellybean87 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 5:57

u know that's so pathetic it's not even funny... I'm completley serious too

SenorCheese 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 6:02

Look on the bright side, you can follow your newfound calling and make it big in the NBA!

ElNegroHombre 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 7:06

If this was true it'd be pretty sad. I can do that in probably 3-5 tries.

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Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML

agreeclassic 9 198

vote type 1 32 918

Today, my dad reminded me that he expects me to try to get into a prestigious (read: top 5, braggable) university for undergrad. I just want to be normal and go to an above average school where I can thrive, instead of killing my mental health now and then mutilating its dead body after I go to college. FML

agreeclassic 1 058

vote type 1 152

Today, I found out the real cause of my dog's illness that she had just recovered from. When my sister took her in to see the vet, the vet said my dog was constipated, and swallowed something orange. That orange thing happened to be my favorite thong. FML

agreeclassic 40 094

vote type 1 6 301

Today, at work, a lady approached me asking if I'd found a used cloth diaper on a table, and I told her it was probably in the trash. She said "That's okay, I can wash it." So I searched through several bags of trash, and when I couldn't find it, she said "Oh never mind! It's in my bag." FML

agreeclassic 44 583

vote type 1 4 609

Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML

agreeclassic 11 438

vote type 1 43 291

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldn’t find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML

agreeclassic 36 658

vote type 1 9 219